So before we go any further here, let me ask you a question. How many of you here are on my father's side, and believe masturbating is wrong, having sex with yourself is a sin, an embarrassment – if you can't be a man and go out there and have sex with a woman, you should not do it at all, and that the young Teddy should be tracked down and stopped, before he does moral damage to himself and his penis? How many of you here are on my father's side? Huh? COME ON!

(Judge crowd response, if people respond, say warmly say, “ALRIGHT!” If no one responds say, “so therefore, you all must be on the young Teddy’s side and feel that masturbating is...")

O.K. now, let me ask you, how many of you here are on the young Teddy's side, and feel that masturbating is a healthy sexual expression, that it is O.K. for me, as the young Teddy, to masturbate to a naked woman embracing a big, black nine-foot-long gorilla penis in the privacy of his own bedroom so that he can master his penis and one day go out there and sexually satisfy a woman? How many of you here are on the young Teddy's side? Huh? COME ON! That's wonderful. People cheering on the young Teddy masturbating. This I like.