This story is called: KING DONG or How I Nuked My Born-again Christian Father With 500-Million Volts Just to Earn My Right to Masturbate to a Picture of a Naked Woman Embracing a Big Black Nine-foot-long Gorilla Penis. I hope you enjoy it because I am going to humiliate myself here like Woody Allen strung out on some Park Avenue prescription meth-amphetamine, YEA!