WORDS
words words
word word
poete maudit
damed poet, Syd Barrett, poèt damné
vision quest
Tryptamine
terrif-i-trippic
terrific tripping
hue-man-being
progenitor
mind plas-asm!
an orgasm for your mind, not your body
plasma-flage!
camouflage for the mind
plas-mania!
a mania of mind plasma!
Plasmamania
jumbotron
Pixeleen
pixel fairy girl name
Fantastical
biophilia
An instinctive bond between human beings and other living systems.
WORDS END
PHRASES
phrases phrases
phrase phrase
instant gratification of imagination
living off the grid
a friend with weed is a friend indeed
not fair to compair
dancing on land-mines, tip Toe KA-BOOM!
enraged or outraged, which is better or more accurate?
girly estro-bomb
fighting the aggression of my depression
ripping the sphincter on the ass–hole of your soul
emotional support dog
aliter-rhyme, aliterhyme
Alliteration in the beginning of the word and rhyming at the end of the word at same time.
example: lexicons of leprechauns (dictionaries of leprechauns)
lexicons of leprechauns
alliances of appliances
locus of focus
paralysis of analysis
infusion of illusion
aura of disorder
sublime peaktime
drama of trauma
terror of errors
intoxication vacation
Irish lass ass
scrumptious rambunctious
anorexic dyslexic
alliter-rhyme end
half past a monkey's ass
seizure inducing cassette tape
suffocation by meat hook
trip buddy
swoon tunes
a kung fu fuck you
focus on the explosions in your mind
radioactive brain flatulence
metal inside a microwave, RATTLE CRACKLE ZAP!
a contrary-fairy Richter contra-DICK-tor
worriers are the hurriers
anorexic dyslexic one-eyed monster man
vibe riders and psychic vampires
Cock Star Rock Stars
stoned squirrels collecting emergency resin balls
visualize a night-visioned lemur daydreamer achiever
where the rubber meets the road
There is no "I" in threesome.
MAY THE UNIVERSE BE KIND
sagging grey-hair pit-bull titties
impressionism vision
Geraldine the answering machine
Wacko Attacko
happy phone freckle day ray hurray
sunshine of the mind
hi!
Theo Juxtaposition Richteroll
sucked up inside my dust buster mind
Pixel Pussy
Brain Blender and Head Shredder
Dick in the Snow Snowboards
glowing pools of green ghoul stool
use some "phone cologne"
beluga's of Chattanooga
new dimensions in inventions
swarming of brain storming
multi-dimentional threat
space time sight sound smell
the frustration of my own creation
testosterone headphones
when motion becomes a web of frozen moments
from the contusions of my confusion
Terra Flops of
Fantastical
plasmatic
kernel panic's
gravatons
supersymetry
stoned alone headphone test
alarmingly disarming charming darling
groovy incongruity
reverbing the verbs of verbal verve
raver-hood, like Robin Hood
Ride the Richter scale
super-size yourself
jigga-watt bass bin uranium for your cranium
an army of feminist copper cock blockers
stellar dweller
Seeing is Make Believing
cuddle puddles of puppies, ARF!
With big science & mad love
Like Mission Control in the missionary position
T-minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 9 and blast off, ZOOM!
reverbing the verbs of verbal verve:
"We are all hoe's in the hole of the cosmic flow!"
celebration of fornication
pickle juice fights tongue plaque
yields...
tickle of pickel juice
creative & innovate
We are God's chosen...to rip up his handiwork!
Herpes Juice. Just don't get that herpes juice in your eye!
videoit idiot
high-flying skydiving of the mind
PHRASES END
IDEAS
ideas ideas
black swan data bomb
I want to give my dog a sex change operation and do a miniature Masters and Johnson study, that would be a great way to get on the news. Hook her up with a doggy-dong strap-on and watch her get it on with other girl doggies, take pictures of it, and post it on the internet. Freak out every major special interest group on the left and the right. Then, mix in some bizarrely-wrong-yet-appears-right technical data and confuse the scientific community. I am talking about disturbing truth presented as total cultural media anarchy. I am talking about dropping a multi-dimensional black swan data bomb.
black swan data bomb buffer
I'm talking about total cultural media anarchy. I am talking about presenting disturbing truth like dropping a multi-dimentional black swan data bomb.
black swan data end
devices of your vices
Ladies and Gentlemen of the board, envision an oasis of total client comfort filled with the diversions of perversion, devises of your vises, and ramifications of your copulations climaxing in the revelations of intoxication, like a sublime peak-time of the the mind, AH...
Ladies & Gentelman of the board,
your confession is my obsession.
Let us talk of the
devices of your vices,
revelations of your intoxications
Ladies & Gentelman of the board,
your confession is my obsession.
Let us talk of the
devices of your vices
diversions of your perversion
elations of your copulations, UH!
revelations of your intoxications.
micromanaging...
The delusions of your contusions, CLUNK!
BUFFER
and the ramifications of your copulations, UH!
devices of your vices end
Perversion in itself is an empty motion without something worthy to pervert.
Davidian Alter said, "there's nothing I can say that will change your mind, butt there's something I can do that will rock yo body..."
EXPLORE THE FOOD
Jerry,
What made Himal Chuli such a great meal is that I learned something about dining: do not be confined to the menu.
This is not the time to be thinking about money or how much weight you are going to put on. If it looks interesting, just bring it to the table and consume it!
Jerry, today was a break-through for me: you have taught me how to eat. I've eaten my whole life, and I didn't understand how to do it until today. Eat like crack-heads smoke crack. Don't think about your cholesterol or how it will affect your health tomorrow, fuck it, EAT WITH RECKLESS ABANDON.
This is not passive dining, this is bringing eating up to the level of an extreme sport: EXPLORE THE FOOD.
Yes.
TJ
EXPLORE THE FOOD END
Medicine is a dysfunctional parent that turns a blind eye to it's own mistakes.
There are three types of people in your life:
1. The laughers. These are people who either like or dislike you. They laugh at your situation to cover up are too dumb and uncaring to help you.
2. The happy dumb-asses. Fat dumb and happy people who don't want to think or do anything. "What could go wrong?"
They laugh at your situation to cover up are too dumb and uncaring to help you.
3. The life proofreaders (or proofreaders of life). Anyone can proof read english, you learn that in high school. When you are going through life you need someone to say, "hey, this doesn't make sense." They point out the problem. They don't even have to solve the problem, simply identifying an overlooked problem is enough.
Horses & Friends
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
You can ask a friend for help, but you can't make them think.
Soldering Iron Zodiac Sign
There are no irrelevant ideas. Why? Because everything is connected to everything else; The universe is wired both in series and parallel. Image a giant electrician in overalls with a smoking soldering iron Zodiac sign wiring the cosmos forward and laterally at the same time.
two favorite places
My two favorite places are the genitals and the brain.
Have you ever noticed the brain looks like a pair of buttocks with the crack going up the middle?
Well, it is time to rip those brain buttocks apart and sodomize the mind!
rip your brain buttocks a new asshole
rip your mind a new asshole
rip your brain buttock
did you ever look at a brain
It's got the two lobes with a crack
brain buttocks
pop culture plasma!
Hooty and the Blowfish
Britney Spears
Paris Hilton
Jessica Simpson
find more pop-culture losers
Backstreet Boys
Kid Rock
Ashlee Simpson
Christmas Trees Died for Christ
Every time someone talks about all the people Christ died for, I think of all the Christmas trees that died for Christ.
party wave space density
it's not the size of the space, but the density of wave's you percieve.
a boom box with a battery powered laser and christmas tree lights in a closet can be more intense than a large stadium.
write up throbbing orb of light
like a cat staring at a TV screen
What does a cat see when it looks at TV? (Shaking it's head back and forth.)
I feel like a cat when I look at Hubble Space Telescope nebulas.
comprehension crisis
I went from being an intelligent human being
constant look of confusion
to a cat stairing at a TV screen
(gesture: move your head and eyes back and forth senselessly)
It takes two people for a crucifixion, you can't crucify yourself. Remember, there is no I in crucify (even though there is).
Groupies don't fuck the performer, they fuck the costume.
Never commit to perversion, only flirt with it. Fickle
MAKE LOVE TO THE ORGANISM OF YOUR CHOICE!
Make love to the organism of your choice!
Make love to the inanimate object of your choice.
ADD TO SHOW (The Future?)
spelling bees suck
I hate fucking spelling bees. Question: What happens to these people who win spelling bees? Do they become great literary geniuses? Do these people become Hemmingways and F. Scott Fitzgerlds? No. Do they go on to develop polio vaccines, no. They fade away into medicoity.
Levels Enlightenment
Burton skate story, high school skateboarding jocks. Applies to all forms of underground.
Levels of enlightnement
Creators (break-through artists)
Explainers (Tony Wilson, John Berger, journalists, qualify and explain)
Practitioners (secondary artist followers, all the other artists)
"The scene" Patrons (level one: make the secene, collectively make up "the scene" cool enough to be there)
Patrons (level two: professinals who patronise the arts, not cool but inteligent, inject money into the arts, they are worthy)
Suburbanites Trash (lowest level)
Suburbanite High School Jocks
Support techno-diversity -- stop the extinction of pay phones!
Are you concerned about the extinction of pay phones!
Preserve the techno-diversity of pay phones!
stop the extinction of pay phones!
Surfing Writing
Each day is a new wave
She was a (radioactive) bisexual thermo-nuclear drama-generator
negaive midus touch of romance
The Drama Generator
A self-fulling agenda, quote, "I want to do something that will make me feel good right now, and (I don't about anyone else) fuck everyone else."
This creates drama.
Selfish, I am not OK with myself, I have to tell I have these things, show you these things.
THE FUTURE OF GENETIC ENGINEERING IN THE PET INDUSTRY
A genetic engineered polka dot pet frog,
with two sets of dune-buggy hind legs
and tasty, vodka-mixed-drink secreting skin for licking.
Once this genitic engineering thing hits the pet industry, think of the possibilities: I want a genetically-engineered yellow & purple polka dot pet frog, with two sets of dune-buggy hind legs w/tasty, vodka & dimethyltryptamine mixed-drink secreting skin for licking, SLURP! That's what I've been dreamin'.
A heaven filled w/crazy animals & technology all in harmony.
Keep the van stocked with porn, beer (good beer I hope) and reefer and I would think you could survive anything.
If you keep a van well-stocked with beer, porn, and pot you can survive anything.
"A thing is just a slow event." -- Stanley Eveling
There are now nouns, just slow moving verbs.
emotional support animal
Play Add To Playlist E-Mail
More doctors are lending credence to the medical benefits of an "emotional support animal," but it's causing problems for renters with landlords who say no pets allowed, Byron Pitts reports.
Drill Sergeant of Fun (Cranky Uncle of Fun)
You are responsible for doing funny things to make yourself happy
Do funny things to make yourself happy
and you will enjoy your life.
What will you do?
Monkeys throwing shit at you at the zoo.
obsessive-compulsive anarexic dyslexic
There is no limit to the bad things that can happen to you.
a bad doctor is worse than a bad cop, way worse.
Living Is Your Biggest Punishment
You're worst nightmare is waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror, and seeing yourself.
you're such a goofball, you'd snort yourself
When I retire I don't know what's going to be smaller: my cock or my social security check.
Pain–>Strength
Pain is the conduit for which strength either enters or leaves the body.
Pain is a conduit for strength entering or leaving the body.
The best skater is the one having the most fun.
Abstract Dimension of Expression
"Art is an abstract dimension of expression passed on from generation to generation like a selfish gene. Art by definition is preserved by it's genuineness, everything else is lost in a fickle, ever-changing sea of trend. We are mere hosts for something greater and more beautiful that connects mankind's minds over time. Like moths circling a street lamp frantically mating and consuming each other, art is generated by the dance of life, deceptively more hearty than the fragile life-shell consciousnesses that individually carry it on for such a short time."
plasma van!
mind plasma! audio visual assault vehicle
plasma van! audio visual assault vechicle
Pi•card
Infinite Irrational Calling Card Number
'cause I've got that pie calliing call, endless irrational number, so I don't ever get to dial that last digit.
Ozzy Ozborn most extreme event
The most extreme event since Ozzy Ozborn bit the head off a bat in Des Moines, Iowa back in 1982.
January 20, 1982, when, during a gig in Des Moines , a fan threw a bat onstage and Ozzy promptly picked it up and bit its head off. Ozzy thought it was a toy. It wasn't. Legend has it that the bat bit back and Ozzy underwent a course of rabies injections.
Robotripping
Getting high on DXM cough medicine
Socrates
The goal of human existence is to know yourself. But once you know yourself, how do you live with yourself? That's a whole new problem, even bigger.
Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible. -- The Onion
I want to be reincarnated as a black bird that collects shiny objects.
universal language
The goal of all media is to create a language that is universally understood by all concousionesses. (Not just humans, but also encompassing machines and animals as well.)
Marshall McLuhan or me???
desire is more important than the question
You've got three things: You've got the question, you've got the answer, and you've got the desire for that answer. That's the most important thing, that desire, that intermediate state. It's even more important than the question. When you finally get the answer you're trip is over, you shot your load, you're dead. When you have the desire that's when you're alive, that's where you want to be. He not busy being born is busy dying.
inverse net (future) worth of future fun
"It is not wise to save fun for retirement,
the fun is simply not as much fun.
Because unlike money, fun has an inverse net future worth."
Give example: what is the most basic fun, skateboarding, hopskotch (your skin is hard, less sensitive, can't hear or see as well, body less flexible, brain does not work as well.)
Escape to the future
women leopard skin pattern made out of lipstick kisses
extreme sports
the world keeps getting more and more extreme
"Time Zone" night club
Art opening
Spokenword
Band
Film
Performance art
VJ
Turntablest
DJ
Price goes up with time, if you come early and stay you get a low price.
James?
Big-e
Record bong hit sound
Things don’t get done in this city because there’s no one to take your place if it doesn’t.
it's the seam of concouseness where
brain waves --> light & sound waves
transformed converted, translated
INVENTION: Nonlinear Voice-recognition PowerPoint Presentation
Use voice-recognition technology to trigger images and sounds.
Each image and sound has a defined word that will trigger it.
Word-recognition image/sound activation.
word = image + sound
Image/sound remains until next word triggers next image/sound.
Automatic dissolve between images.
Automatic cross-fade between sounds.
The images and sounds will accompany the presenter in the order of his natural discourse, not a pre-determined pre-programed order.
Mimics current PowerPoint presentation with dissolves between images and hyperlinked music.
clogged defogger blogosphere
telecomuticating kilobit congestion like some clogged defogger blogosphere
Tattoos & Fast Food
With all the jobs are leaving America, the only thing left to be manufactured is going to be tattoos and fast food.
LD LDS on LSD
That would be the:
Learning Disabled, Later Day Saints on Lysergic Acid Diethylamide
Bikers & Nuns
mind plasma!
Miller Time for the mind
mice sing ultra-sonic love songs, ultra-sonic chirps
Hacker -- "nonprofit acts of intellectual exploration and mastery"
sideways pussy hamster hole
gay in a good way
I need prostate protection!
Terra Flop
Gigaflops (GFLOPS) One thousand million (10^9) floating point operations per second.
gigaflop is a billion floating-point operations per second
In computers, FLOPS are floating-point operations per second.
A trillion floating point operations per second
10 to the 12th power floating-point operations per second
2 to the 40th power flops
SENTENCES
sentence sentence
Please leave in a orderly fashion while focusing on the disorder in your own mind. Good night!
Visualize a night-visioned lemer daydreamer achiver, SCREECH!
Flying Squirrel Back Scratch
Relax, and enjoy a flying-squirrel WISHWOO! back-scratch, Kik kik!
#8
The number 8 really is an erect infinity sign that represents an infinite erection.
"What is this "mind plasma!" that you so fondly speak of?"
I'm the red leader on the menstrual calendar, red leader, like from Star Wars.
SANTA AS GOD
Toymaker as God
Santa Claus is God
He who makes the toys is God, Santa Claus.
Get out of my body baby!
head butting my belly button
karate kicking my cervix in
punching bag punching my spine behind
climbing up my ribs like a jungle gym
I want him...out!
pummleing pain
Get out of my body baby!
You can't be depressed when you are looking breasts
I love it when the mice & bugs & animals do weird shit like our weird shit so our weird shit doesn't look so weird.
Wild girls on wild drugs telling wild lies...that's entertainment!
Describe your perfect woman in 25 words or less: “nice skin, nice shape, nice smell.”
IMAGE
Fight the power, hug a cop!
IDEAS END
POEMS
poems poems
po po
I hope you are enjoying your autumn w/natural-neon colored leaves screaming from the trees, YELL-O!
Supersonic Hydroponic Flying Seaturtle
I just want to be a supersonic, hydroponic
gracefully arcing, double parking
flying sea turtle, SWISH!
13 Foot Tick
Visualize a giant love-doll in the form of a blood-filled, 13 foot tick with a thyroid disorder brandishing a cheap, hard-plastic exoskeleton sphincter.
voice mail for James Klobier break-up with girlfriend
radioactive color-clash
radiating reams of ruby-red beams...brazen, blazin' & amazin'.
Rock on glitter-sister,
Beautiful Decay? I'm feeling the fall out! Thanks for the friends request.
Yer nails almost match yer hair in his pic, the radioactive color-clash
radiating reams of ruby-red beams...brazen, blazin' & amazin'.
Rock on glitter-sister,
TJ Systems
Feel raging oceans stir in a puddle of rainwater
See all human struggles in a schoolyard scuffle
Hear all music float in a single note
Like Amaterasu, the Japanese Sun Goddess ~ basking everlasting in the divine shrine of sunshine ~ solar flairs blair like strands of permed hair.
Superstars of Love Image
"1, 2, 3, PUSH! let's do the first cheerleading FIST FUCK FLIP!"
GET JIM CARROLL POEM
Sucked up inside my dust-buster mind, BRUZZZ!!!
I fed on your dreams like a newly-born caterpillar pupa
carefully chewing each page like a brisling like leaf,
then wiggled around, growing like embryonic sea-monkeys,
then "holy cow!" look what chunks of mind plasma! spewed back out:
like Silent Sea Sirens
waves breaking on the snoring shores of the isle of Capri
opened it, will be whatever you want
bring what you want it to be
What is it? it will be what you bring.
Add to intro
and if you've never seen me before
I want to trip you out like
your first joint of Jr. High School b-grade pot
alarmingly & disarmingly charming arms
Hi Vanessa,
Thank you for the of alarmingly & disarmingly charming arms
of candy bracelet charms
I was charmed.
- t j
KATIE POEMS
Hi Katie,
You looked so wonderful last night & when you hugged me it was amazing.
The blood started rushing to my crotch (ha),
BUT AT THE SAME TIME
the blood started rushing to my head,
...and I envisioned tiny little snake girls w/green eyes & forked tongue piercings
flicking in tiny little whippings & wriggling up aganst me like shy sea minnows.
Katie, when I see you my body get's all fucked up:
I don't know whether to EJACULATE or HALLUCINATE !!!
How could you do this to me?
XXOO
t j
When I first hugged Katie, blood started rushing to my loins, but she was so other-worldly fantastic looking blood also started rushing to my head, and I started dreaming of tiny little snake girls w/green eyes & pierced forked tongues flicking & licking me in tiny little whippings, like millions of soft sea minnows swimming inside my every pore, and I said, "Katie, when I hug you my body gets all fucked up, I don't know whether to EJACULATE or HALLUCINATE !!! How could you do this to me?"
PILOT WHALES
Pilot Whales
Katie,
Pilot whales wag their tails diving into a sleepy, seeping black sea...BLOOP!
xxoo
TJ
The poem:
Pilot whales wag their tails diving into a sleepy, seeping black sea...BLOOP!
PILOT WHALES END
gerbera daisies & beach balls
Katie,
I see you are online now.
Like gerbera daisies & beach balls
floating in the summer breeze
bright colors whirling like a hypnotic narcotic:
you are getting sleepy...
Good night Katie (beach ball summer-shine girl),
t j
Imagine gerbera daisies & beach balls
whirling in a summer breeze like an exotic hypnotic narcotic
bright colors unfurling, then curling up words:
"you are getting sleepy..."
gerbera daisies & beach balls end
TINKLE TINGLE TICKLES
Katie,
May supple sun-rays ripple on your day,
in snowflake waves of tingle tinkle tickles.
(Can you say it out loud very SLOWLY sweety Katy?)
"TINGLE..."
"TINKLE..."
"TICKLES..."
(It's very tongue-twisty, isn't it?)
...and image sparklin' snowflakes falling on your hot lovely face
like tiny pin-priks of white-light pleasure & pain
fire & ice
the steamy vapors rise & surprise
letting you know you're beautiful & alive.
LOVE LOVE LOVE,
- t j
XXOO
Believe in reincarnation of asymmetrical snowflakes!
Floating down on your face like a million pin-pricks of white-light
mixing pleaure & pain
fire & ice
crystals vaporized instantaneously in tiny tinkle tingle tickles.
steamy vapors rise like spooky snowflake spirits in an afterlife surprise, BOO!
letting you know you're beautiful & alive.
Hot and steamy soon to re-crystalize into
Believe in reincarnation of asymmetrical snowflakes!
(Can you say it out loud very SLOWLY sweety?)
"TINKLE..."
"TINGLE..."
"TICKLES..."
(It's very tongue-twisty, isn't it?)
KATIE END
Fall
(love poem for Sister Cash)
(check date on e-mail!)
autumn trees
happy leaves
falling hues
loving you
MOVE TO CRACK ROCK JACKPOT
Tripping on myself
the Sandoz Company in
lysergic acid diethylamide tartrate
MOVE TO HYPER-KENITIC GOBLIN OF FUN
pushing your love button
(or)
Funky Sea-monkey
Oh funky-sea monkey with tail so lumpy
Why must you pee like a doggie in the sea?
Hello Emily Hello
... Lee told me to tell you hi!
O! Like a lost, Josie and the Pussycats In Outer Space explorer,
floating 'mid glowing-green jelly-globs in Spencer Gift lava lamps,
blasting w/Flash Gordon jet-pack & megaphone reverbing the verbs of verbal verve:
HELLO EMILY HELLO!
- t j
Lemur Achiever
I feel like a brilliant
tool using, problem solving,
ring-tailed matagasgar leemer
with those all-seeing infa-red night vision eyes.
visualize a night-visioned lemur daydreamer achiever
SPACE POEM
VICKI VOCAL
Seeing, is make, believing,
with cascades, of lemonade, mermaids,
doing handsprings, off purple, paisley, daisies,
on the lost moon, of Neptune,
vaulting, and, Olympic-gold-medal, summer-shine, summersaulting,
into crystal in, stone skip in, trapezoidal, pools, of jewels,
those, are the winking periwinkle eyes that say, "Oh my"
With big science, and mad love,
Like Mission Control, in the missionary position,
T-minus, 10 9 8 7 6, 9, and blast off, ka-BOOM!
Cascades, of lemonade, Mermaids,
doing handsprings, off purple paisley daisies,
on the lost moon, of Neptune,
Seeing, is make, believing,
jumping in cuddle puddles of puppies
Ah, hot, sweaty and vibe heavy,
midnight noon, on the lost moon of Neptune.
Vaulting, and Olympic-gold-medal summer-shine summersaulting,
fantastic L terrra flops of groovy, incongruity,
with winking periwinkle eyes, that say, "Oh my!"
Imagine the lost moon of Neptune is a land-less,
planetary glop of pure MDMA liquid ecstasy
floating in the air of solar flares
held together by it's own gravity and surface tension
With mermaids swimming pole to pole
unobstructed by land masses and the shifting of tectonic plates
in a love potion ocean of devotion.
riding underwater jetstreams, promoting love potion tidal motion of ocean emotion
COLOR?
floating weightless in solar wind
The lost moon of Neptune is a landless, planetary glob of pure MDMA liquid ecstasy held together by it's own gravity and surface tension.
Like sea-monkeys mating in a planitoid fish bowl love potion ocean
A landless pole to pole ocean globe.
suspended in a weightless void
A planet composed solely of liquid,
ocean-globe of pure fluid,
ocean-only
planetoid with trapezoidal, pools, of jewels
it is a pole-to-pole planatery glob of liquid ecstasy.
an orb of pleasure floating mid-wave on the ways
gellitan
An orb of pure plasma pleasure
the planet is pure fluid
blob of liquid KY plasma
jelitan
Imagine the lost moon of Neptune is a land-less,
planetary glop of pure MDMA liquid ecstasy
held together by it's own gravity and surface tension
With mermaids swimming pole to pole
unobstructed by land masses and the shifting of tectonic plates
in a love potion ocean of devotion.
Cascades of Lemonade Mermaids
(Imagine the lost moon of Neptune as a land-less planetary glob of pure MDMA liquid ecstasy, held together by it's own gravity and surface tension, with mermaids swimming pole to pole uninhibited by land masses and the shifting of tectonic plates, in a love potion ocean of devotion.)
Seeing is make believing
w/Cascades of lemonade mermaids,
Doing handsprings off purple paisley daisies,
On the lost moon of Neptune
Vaulting, and Olympic-gold-medal summer-shine summersaulting,
Into crystallin' stone skippin' trapezoidal pools of jewels:
Those are the winking periwinkle eyes that say, "Oh my!"
bursting
splashing trapoizoidial droplets stone skipping pools of jewels
skipping stones
deep asure splash of
Cascading, serenading & lemonad-aiding
the mermaid's of gentle genital magenta
rolling
The sky is violet
pealing neoprine orange peel orange lips
Slowly rolling the the violet sky
asymetrical, concentric, disturbed, unnerved
contrary
ocean is lavendar
reverb the verbal verve
...but as far as the eye can see,
the silky-milky seaweed is still green.
jet pack fanny fanner fan, “shoo...” man
SPACE POEM END
BAD SPACE POEM WITH GOOD LINES
On a Superman Clark Kent
Seeing is Make Believing
jumping in cuddle puddles of puppies, ARF!
My dear Lois Lane,
please refrain from catching that carrer-dear areo-plane,
with work-lists and slick sun-kissed orange lipstick
we are taking a Superman, a fortus of solitude, Kryptonite trip tonight.
a heaven-sent scented
deceveng evening Clark Kent gent-"L" man.
With big science & mad love
Like Mission Control in the missionary position
T-minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 9 and blast off, SSSHHHOOO ! ! !
reverbing the verbs of verbal verve:
"We are all hoe's in the hole of the cosmic flow!"
Like Mission Control in the missionary position,
hot sweaty and vibe heavy,
embarking on oddly-two-thousand-bun inner/outer space odyssey
stretching your ears, eyes, and mind wide open:
T-minus ten, nine, eight, seven, 6 9 and blast off, SSSHHHOOO ! ! !
In a celebration of fornication of our alien nation
orbit
floating 'mid glowing-green jelly-globs in Spencer-gift lava lamps,
w/Flash Gordon jet-pack megaphone
Fantastical futter down under,
milking the utter, MOO! butterflies...
BAD SPACE POEM END
SUMMER FACE
She had that three-hundred-and-sixty-five day-a-year,
all-weather all-season summer-face.
An Amaterasu sun-diving diva cosmic Shiva
With third-eye love-ray circular-saws blazing & serrating
even the most foggy, smoggy, and soggy days…rays
radiating & sedating my satiation for sunshine.
POEMS END
STORIES
stories stories
story story
write sky-diving story
Neon-blue Leopard-skin racing stripes are cool.
...and I'm thinking, I am putting my life in the hands of dudes who think that neon-blue leopard-skin racing stripes are cool.
I sat on that hay-bale for about thirty-five minutes and just staired at the ground. My instructor came over to me,
told me, "you're a real skydiver, here." and gave me his googles, he must have felt bad about what happened.
"Are you going to go again?" he asked. "No" I said.
What did I learn? Don't confront your fears, repress it, keep it all in. It's better to be afraid, neurotic and alive, then fearless, enlightened, and dead.
I am a freckle-her heckler that says, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
I am a freckle heckle-her that says, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
"Art is an abstract dimension of expression passed on from generation to generation like a selfish gene. Art by definition is preserved by it's genuineness, everything else is lost in a fickle, ever-changing sea of trend. We are mere hosts for something greater and more beautiful that connects mankind's minds over time. Like moths circling a street lamp frantically mating then consumed by the heat, art is generated by the dance of life, deceptively more hearty than the fragile life-shell consciousnesses that carry it on for such a short time."
"Art is an abstract dimension of expression passed on from generation to generation like a selfish gene. Art by definition is preserved by it's genuineness, everything else is lost in a fickle, ever-changing sea of trend. We are mere hosts for something greater and more beautiful that connects mankind's minds over time. Like moths circling a street lamp frantically mating and consuming each other, art is generated by the dance of life, deceptively more hearty than the fragile life-shell consciousnesses that individually carry it on for such a short time."
checking brain cells
SKATEBOARD WRITING
Strung Out Bird of Prey
flying like some strungout bird of prey with limbs of wind
concrete welling up beneath my wheels
in waves of molten lava.
& breathing steam from manhole covers
Flying over manhole covers
Flying like a strungout bird of pray
with limbs of wind
the concrete welling up beneath my wheels
in waves of moltan lava.
Breathing steam from manhole covers
In the City I skate the night (a bat flapping ultra sonics)
Image: skateboarder grinding brain, hurling brain-chunks
Text: grind your mind
What's up young ripper snappers, POP!
Everyone in Cali wants to be a "soul surfer," that's a pure surfer free of the status of trendy moves and materialism.
SOUL SURFING THE ROAD RAGE !!!
Soul surfing the road rage serenely & supremely riding waves of gravity & red-neck hate,
HEY MAN, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STREET !!! BEEP !!! BEEP !!!
rising above the status of trendy fashion moves and the froth of biatry
riding splashing
and perverse foaming of the mouth
with a freedom carving
Riding past perverse foaming of the mouth
Streetlight sillowetts of tree leafs shadows in the street
gently swaying & unweighing like shadowy kelp beds
in the dark synesthisia billows of my graviton-intoxicated brain.
playing with the imagination of my graviton-intoxicated brain.
fluttering shades in my gravitron-intoxicated brain.
swooping & whooping
Never yeilding to the dark side of the stoke.
Evil Keneival
Asphalt roaring like the blast of afterburners searing and smearing my speed-blurred sight.
Skateboarding
Hello young ripper snappers, POP!
Grinding your mind (image of skateboarder grinding brain)
One writer touted the cooperative nature of the sport: "There are no teams or sides and everyone helps each other out."
SNOWBOARDING WRITING
Unified Field of Board Sport Stoke-dom
Unified Field of Board Riding Stoke-dom
Extreme Pipe Dream ver. 1.3
On a long & lonely chairlift ride, CREAK!
I screamed an extreme pipe dream, SHOOO...
flying silent & inverted blood squirted to my head, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
like the fast, deafing blast of snow machines, PISSSH!
...and I am the dreamer within this dream screaming:
KEEP ALL YOUR PIPE DREAMS EXTREME!
Goth Rock Stoned Alone Night Session ver. 1.0
Like a black crow riding the dark side
under bright white blinding floodlights
I confess the guilty secret of
128 kilo-bit-per-second goth-rock stoned alone headphone night sessions
to priestly, third-world chair-lift attendants from Jamaica,
JAH GET ON THE CHAIR, MON!
Goth Rock Stoned Alone Night Session ver. 1.1
I am a black crow riding the dark side
bright white blinding floodlights reflecting off my cheekbones like whiteface
a 128 kilo-bit-per-second goth-rock stoned alone headphone night session
I confess this guilty secret
to priestly, third-world chair-lift attendants from Jamaica,
JAH GET ON THE CHAIR, MON!
Goth Rock Stoned Alone Night Session ver. 1.2
Every night session, I cue up my iPod, and take that one secret goth rock run,
bright white blinding floodlights reflecting off my cheekbones like whiteface makeup
and I fly like a black crow riding the dark side at 128 kilo-bits-per-second,
SWOOSH! "Bela Lagosi's dead!" SWOOSH! SWOOSH! "Undead undead undead!"
& I confess this guilty secret of goth-rock stoned alone headphone night sessions
to priestly, third-world chair-lift attendants from Jamaica,
who uncaring & pissed yell, "JAH GET ON THE CHAIR, MON!"
Goth Rock Stoned Alone Night Session ver. 1.3
Like a black crow riding the dark side
under freezing white fright floodlights, GASP!
I confess this guilty secret of
128 kilo-bit-per-second goth-rock stoned alone headphone night sessions
SWOOSH! "Bela Lagosi's dead!" SWOOSH! SWOOSH! "Undead undead undead!"
to priestly, third-world chair-lift attendants from Jamaica, ("I'm stoned")
JAH! GET ON THE CHAIR, MON!
Goth Rock Stoned Alone Night Session ver. 1.3
Like a black crow riding the dark side under freezing white-fright floodlights, GASP! I confess my guilty secret of 128 kilo-bit-per-second goth-rock stoned alone headphone night sessions SWOOSH! "Bela Lagosi's dead!" SWOOSH! SWOOSH! to priestly, third-world chair-lift attendants from Jamaica, JAH! GET ON THE CHAIR, MON!
ADRENALEEN GODDESS OF THE EXTREME (adrenaline)
All there is, is this moment, there is nothing before and there is nothing after it. Anything else is just an illusion. The only thing that matters is that second you're doing something. 'Cause that's all that's real. That's the only thing that ever was, that's the only thing that ever will be.
- Craig Stecyk III
What does Adrenaleen do? She expands time and purifies the mind.
Draw Graph
Ride like Jay Adams, ride like an attention deficit dog.
Like an equalizer Adrenaleen squashes the past and present so the only thing that matters is the present moment.
Have you ever noticed with every session you've got that one run where you go beyond your abilities, and it takes all your mental and physical energy, all your focus to make it through the next 20 seconds.
Let me make this clear: the time you failed history back in 7th grade, that girl who turned you down for the Jr. Prom, your future carrier, and the size of your social security checks, all have no bearing here.
goes into,
and you are using everything you've got, your whole mind/body psycological/psychiological operating system,
just praying to make it through the next 20 seconds.
Have you ever noticed when a run is slow and boring, it actually seems shorter, but when conditions are fast and you're going full throttle, all your mental energy goes into the riding, and that same run actually seems longer?
That is the paradox of Adrenaleen, is the faster you go, the more powerful she becomes, and the more time slows down. The present moment is drawn out and expanded while the past and future disappear from consciousness.
You turn into an attention-deficit dog and Adrenaleen is your dominatrix master.
Faster and faster until you have no future, no past, your entire existence is compressed down to that 15 second ride you need to make in order to survive. YEA!
All is forgotten in an adrenaline-induced time-warp of extreme consciousness, and you emerge sweaty & breathing heavy, mind purified sublime. You are stoked.
Freash, failings forgotten, ready to attack life's problems a new.
And you emerge purified.
Unlike step-sister Amphetamine, a half-breed synthetic deity worshiped by the degenerate club-kids and pot-bellied classic rock speed freaks, Adrenaleen is ah natural.
(Amphetamine is like a titian, created by scientists, part human.) Step-sister of the synthetic deity Amphetamine, goddess of trendy club kids, and balding middle-aged pot-bellied classic rock speed freaks.
You are purified, you have to forget all your failings, you successes, the only thing that matters is the ride at hand.
...and you emerge as a pure and unified self.
They are completely forgotten. Your window of consciousness is narrowed down to the moment you are getting rad.
All your problems are forgotten in a flash, and you emerge purified, mind, body and spirt.
To butter or not to butter, that is the question
BUFFER
ADRENALEEN GODDESS OF THE EXTREME
Homework assignments, parking violations, disagreements w/girlfriends/boyfriends, and your future financial career, have no real meaning here. NO, NONE, NADA.
END
ADRENALEEN GODDESS OF THE EXTREME
LINE
Every turn counts, Choose your line wisely
You are responsible for picking your own line.
Sometimes have to pick a line that is over your head, or not what you have expected.
You have to pick lines line that (if you want to be on top...)
The lines you draw, choose a differnt line
You always pick the lines where it's hard to get to,
those are the lines that are real good.
Terje Haakonsen
Supreme Moment of Contortion
Text: Supreme moment of contortion & hyper-extention in zero gravity w/Yoga zen-masters and side-show freaks.
Image: Method air, Alex Grey style graphic. Famous Yogi/Zen master, weird yoga pose. Famous contortionist. Circus? Pose?
and then you reach...
THE STOKE
Stoked. Stokedom
God the father, white-light consiousness
Highest from of conciousness, Eastern mythology? Nirvana, meditation, Budda?
Worship the stoke. Supreme being of consiousness.
stoke
Stoke is a graviton intoxication similar to a canine attention deficit disorder
attention deficit dog graviton intoxication
The high, adriniline-fueled, surreal snow-sparkling hallucinogenic body high.
I drop in under the branches of a willow tree arcing overhead like a wave
like Jerry Lopez, Mr. Pipeline, monk-like with bowl haircut and gutee,
body chemistry triple high
endorphin rush, adrenaline rush, and dopamine rush of stoke-dom to the pleasure centers of your brain
Plot g-forces vs. weight on planets for halfpipe riding
GET IT !!!
Custom X
The Marlon Brando ice crystals on the planet Krypton impulse power surge into the zero G.
Malolo
Thy Charlton Heston holy man surf snow vision quest breaking the 10 commandment tablets, "forgive me Father for I have SURFED!"
Dominant
The snake-skinned Edie Sedgwick meth-amphetamine syringe pop in the sweet ass cheek bunny-hill buttocks riding into an acute bar-bitch-u-it overdose.
Chair lift as binding chewing metal monster
like a dog chewing on your heal.
The sky is falling the world is melting
Bionic
wind lips,
fear induced adrenaline endorphins
Halfpipe
On the half-pipe every wall ride is a weightless NASA space shuttle space walk.
body raging like a fiery furnace against the frozen tundra
& then lay back in the snowy afterglow
body raging like a fiery furnace against the frozen tundra
alpine snow-shine
Waking up with that ice-cold sting zing in the air that hurts your face
the snow is like well-lubricated sex, it's so F A S T . . .
screaming down the mountainside faster than I drive planets alined:
sun on my right, bone-white morning moon on my left without a cloud in-between,
in a 180-degree mountain view for miles & miles & miles &
hypnotized by a million points of light refracted off the alpine snow-shine I ride ALONE.
Hi Cash,
I just got back 2 mins ago from 2 days of hard riding in the UP eh!
2nd day Monday today was beautiful: waking up with that ice-cold sting zing in the air that hurts your face (it's what you want) it means the snow is like well-lubricated sex, it's so F A S T . . . screaming down the mountain faster than some people drive planets alined: sun on my right, morning moon on my left without a cloud in-between, in a 180-degree mountain view for miles & miles & miles & hypnotized by a million points of light refracted off the alpine snow-shine I ride ALONE.
snow love,
- t j
Up Escalator Infinite Rail Slide
Up escalator infinite board slide where the coefficient of friction up equals the force of gravity down.
then normal plane coefficient of friction equals the normal component force of gravity.
draw mini free body diagram
Boards of the Future
The boards of the future will not look anything like the boards you are riding today.
The boards of the future will not look anything like the boards we ride today.
VISUALIZE YOUR FUTURE RIDE
Rider's like you will be building those boards.
What will your board look like?
t-shirts:
EVERY TURN COUNTS
SURF-SKATE
believe in the reincarnation of asymmetrical snowflakes
rocketing
amplitude
shorter lift times improve muscle memory : )
lift time, perfect rest, not too long, bored & muscles tightned: not too short, arrive still tired, just right.
Death of Uncle Finnius Snow Fin
1962? - 1988?
Great grandfather Tom Blake's aquatic brain child dies
Tombstone R.I.P.
Narley snowboard dudes crying.
Snow-chick crying.
Father consoling with hand on sholder
Shot of dude wipeing out, eating it on a fin board.
Shot of dude ripping on snow fin
GLOBAL WARMING SUCKS!
Image: freezer control set to "cold"
boots, snowboard gear stuffed in freezer
(snowboard in huge freezer)
Care, aware,
www.stopglobalwarmin.com
...stop by, we're cool.
Smokestacks In Reverse
Revenge of History
NO SKI POLES ON THE HALFPIPE
Skier Rail-grabs = Christian Rock
cop your own style sucker!
NO SKIERS IN THE TERRAIN PARK
History inverts itself mobius
how does it feel sucker
cop your own terrain sucker!
visit our...
MODA MOUNTAINS OF WAX AVALANCHE!
MODA 3 MOUNTAINS
(of hot wax)
wax & tune yer zoom!
with grindrite might!
Wisking white whisper over wispy-crispy waves of dope slope base...SSSHHHOOO!
Silently riding white a white whisper wisking over wispy-crispy waves of dope slope base...SSSHHHOOO!
Silently riding like a white whisper
wisking over the wispy-crispy waves of dope slope base...SSSHHHOOO!
Streaking like a feating fleeting spirit of the Eskimo shadows
Surface of Mars
wissing over shadows of
black and white shadows like ice-crags on the surface of Mars
thin layer of powder swirling in vortices of science fiction
eddies, currents,
whisps of powder sifting
dry ice vapors fog
invisible pressure of wind on my chest.
space blanket astronoaut
Abonadible Snowboard Man
Avalanche dance trance
Snow Romance
Strap on my manhood
like a 160 cm graviton-fueled power carving device
giving me more joy than a sex toy
making love to a million points of light
Ice pixies melt beneath the pressure of my board
glide on their love-juice lubricating my stick better than K-Y astroglide
spray vorticies of albino white rainbow spray
making love to my tongue
like the tickel of pickel juice
thermo-insulated see-through tops
Strapping into 203.2 cm2 of pleasure (it's a form of estacy)`
snowflake earthquake
avalanche of romance
like making love to
tiny albino Swiss Miss ice pixies
flying off these huge globs of snow
like gigantic sculptures of abstract expressionism
sculptures of snow
sculptures of abstract expressionism
MORE JOY THAN A SEX TOY
MORE JOY THAN AN ADULT TOY
ADULT TOY
STRAP IT ON!
Image: Hot chick strapping on bindings and smiling, adult materials in background
a la Domanant sticker
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
MODA 3 OFF-SESSON MIND RIDE
Same art direction as Burton classroom ad.
Image: Snowboarder in shorts, on board in apartment, lifting weights, TV video snowboarding in front of him.
Pre-visualize future super-sessions inside your own mind ride 'cause winter's crystalize is nigh!
See you next season!
work-out
hot humid summer-session
Self-actualize your own mind ride
see you next season
frozen water molecule ping pong balls
I feel the friendly chaos of a billion frozen water molecules
bouncing off my board like microscopic billiard balls, PING!
like friendly ping pong balls
I feel the precise microscopic chaos of frozen water molecules
bouncing off my board like friendly ping pong balls, PING!
frontside hang time
hanging in a perfect moment of weightlessness
with the smooth quaalude re-entry
Christian rock ski jumping
when you land you crash like a street drug
Sonny, do your bindings have enough forward lean?
The air, pure mountain pine nitrous oxide
High speed
sunlight flikering through tree branches hitting my irises like high power night club strobe lights.
riding through puddles
Kickin' back in a Montreal shallee with a bunch of hash-smokin' French-Canadian snowboarders and their bitchin' French-Canadian sno-bitches.
...and I taste the Snowflakes mixing with my sweat
sticker ritual
The ritual of applying sticker
amplitude
riding and sliding
and I pray to the Eskomo god
to make it through the next 20 seconds
Health Insurance premiums down
like millions of mini Paris Hilton ice pixies vieing for my affection
and the sublime privilage honor of paying for my health insurance, AH!
chotic vibrations of abstract expressionism
high-speed ice chatter
quivering of my board, like
William Tell's bow w/arrow wissing toward's the apple
as I swish swish swish through them.
specter shade
Extreme pipe dream buffer
Day job drivel bordom
bombast
half pipe flight hype flying
inauspiciously amplitude
subverted extroverted flirted exerted, spurted, squirted
Inaudibly inverted air inVERTED ("VERTED" upside down text)
Piloting silent but extreme pipe dreams
Inaudibly inverted blood squirted to my head,
Like the fast, deafing blast of snow machines, PISSSH!
GLOBAL WARMING SUCKS!
No greenhouse effect
BUILT TO GRIND ; )
GRIND & SHINE
Arcs of Sparks
Image: Grinding machine sparks
Image: flying out of halfpipe
Sparks from edge machine
power carving device
Snowboarding lift ticket pirates
wash cycle prewashed jean hogwash whitewash
tumble weed fumble tumble humble tumbling cloths
wash
wrince and spin dry
soaking like Bounty tissue "the quicker picker upper" swadling cloths hang me out to spin dry.
Grind-rite
Boniville Salt Flats run
SHREDDER OF THE UNIVERSE
and his magic morphing board
First Extreme Sport Superhero
Shredder of the Universe is the first extreme-sport board-riding super-hero. With a duality similar to Clark Kent and Superman, Fred is a suave environmental lobbyist by day, and Shred, an outrageous pan-dimensional board-riding super-hero by night. Shred has a magic board, a "graviton fueled power carving device" that magically morphs to ride any terrain. It has retractible wheels and fins for riding both land and water. For air and space travel it has non-polluting graviton pods, allowing Shred to ride waves of warped space and bank off of large gravitational objects like the planet Jupiter.
Childhood
Shred was born on the planet Cipro. A planet that died of biological warfare and the overuse of antibiotics. Shred's mother was a laser scientist, who on weekends, specialized in nightclub laser installations, painting clubs in the pure light of abstract expressionism. She is from the planet Halogen. Shred's father was a Dadaist perfromance artist who defected from communist interstellar space. He survived by hosting seedy burlesque strip club shows in the low income zones of the Milky Way. Shred's parents meet by chance at an intergalactic convention center that was holding laser and burlesque conventions simultaneously. Shred's dyslexic father mistakenly read laser booth #96 was burlesque booth #69.
Adventures
Fred, the suave/geeky environmental lobbyist, seduces conservative political secretaries to obtain industrial trade secrets so he can save the environment. After a night of dancing with the secretaries, he flies them to his Black Hole Fortress of Solitude. Shred Fred is a real romantic, he wines them, dines them, feeds them a bunch of club drugs, and then goes right for the...black hole. In his "black hole fortress of solitude" there is an "event horizon chill chamber" where he experiences infinite orgasms at the point where time becomes a loop.
Snow is becoming more and more scarce due to global warming. Shred smokes crack with the abominable snowman. The drug makes him crazy and rides his magic board in huge circles, faster and faster creating a hurricane snowstorm. More snow, hurray!
Before going snowboarding, Fred Shred tunes up his board by flying to the outer regions of the he Kuiper Belt. There, orbiting asteroids form a huge emery cloth belt sander (like the one in Jr. High shop class). Magnetized particles from the asteroids grind his board edges to perfection, creating a huge fishtail comet of sparks.
One of Fred Shred's favorite places is the lost moon of neptune. A planetoid composed of pure liquid MDMA ecstacy. Planetary tides create infinite rides where the wipeout is as good as the wave. There, cascades of lemonade mermaids swim pole to pole doing hand springs off purple paisley daisies for Shred's amusement. Shred surfs with the mermaids as they swim. They are his true-love trip buddies singing swoon tunes until he loses his locus of focus and wipes out. In a turbulent romantic paralysis of analysis Shred coin's his favorite metaphor: "As useless as panties to a mermaid."
The close proximity of Neptune's gravitational forces combined with the high angular velocity of it's orbit create perfect, non-stop tidal waves that circle the planet indefinitely. His fortrus of solitude is a huge, floating space-boohey. Because of the MDMA waves and cascades of lemonade MDMA mermaids, the wipe out is as good as the ride.
Shredder of the Universe Buffer
On land, retractable wheels lower out of the bottom of the board like a skateboard. In water, the wheels retract and a fin protrudes from the tail. On snow, the wheels and fin retract. In the air, four jet (or magnetic) engines protrude from the side of the board like a VTOL vechical. In space four non-polluting gravatron
a gravitron-fuled power carving device. Surfboard/skateboard/snowboard.
ride gravity fields in orbits of the time continuum.
French Canadian g-friend to the black-hole shalee on the event horizon for a enternal orgasm.
Custom nick name
Shredder of the Universe, gravitron-fueled, power carving device.
Custom X nick name
The Marlon Brando ice-crystals on the planet Krypton impulse power-surge into the zero G.
Malolo nick name
Thy Charlton Heston holy man surf-snow vision quest breaking the ten commandment tablets, "Forgive me father for I have surfed!"
Dominant nick name
The snake-skinned Edie Sedgwick, meth-amphetamine pop in the sweet ass cheek bunny hill buttocks riding in an acute bar-bitch-u-it overdose.
Fish nick name
Float
white
flail my tail like a killer whale
powder flying like white water spray
river trout jumping out
of mountain brooks
fin kicking out the jams
Cascades of lemonaid mermaids
Mermaid's name is Sara Tone Ann
serotonin
Alternative name: 5-hydroxytryptamine
silver surfer
sky-rider of the spaceways
shredder of the universe
mind-rider of the brain waves!
mind-rider of brain waves!
ride the brain wave!
No greenhouse effect
weilding a real-time all-wheel-drive power-carving device
Power-carving formula-one radial tire all-wheel-drive
w/Washing machine wipe-out white-out humble tumble fumble
& Snow-stuffed Bounty tissue "the quicker picker upper" swadling cloths
Ski lift cloths-pin safety-bar hangs me out to drip drip dry.
It was surreal. I went for the night session. There are these huge, baseball stadium flood lights, it makes it feel as if you are in a submarine in the depths, it was snowing, so the snow was picking up the light, and the wind was blowing really hard. I have quailty ski pants, jacket, goggles, etc. Really light and flexible colths.
Snowboarding peaktime cosmic truth: in every session there is a point where you go beyond your cabilities (3 times usually for me). At that point it doesn't matter what graphics you have on your board, you are just holding on focusing everything you got to stay on top of your board and make it through these critical moments. What IS important is that you can see your board against the snow out of the corner of your eye so you can negotiate your turns, not hit trees and pull a Sonny Bono. Under perfect conditions human reaction time is two tenths of a second, anything less just drops off from there. Therefore it is best to have a plain black board with the highest contrast against the white snow SO YOU CAN SEE what you are doing and react accordingly, especially during night-riding with goggles on. All these funky-ass graphics don't mean shit: the claw-ripping blood-red dragons, the insane clown possie crazy colors & girl-e-girl butterfly rainbows are not going to help. You need a plain black board against the white snow: you need CONTRAST so you can see what the fuck you are doing.
...so I am looking for a black board, or I am using contact paper on top of the insane clown possie bullshit.
The secret:
That's what you pay your money for,
This is your secret unconcious desire:
To put yourself in a position where all that matters is getting through the next critical moments so you don't lose your life or limb.
and you forget everything else except the here and now.
Sticker shoe box application ritual
Do you have enough forward lean?
backside heal grind extreme sport shockra
The gratification of the backside turn
The frontside turn is easier, and certainly gratifing
Do you have enough forward lean?
extreme sport shocking shockra
it's like sex when it's tight and you can apply the exact pressure to your favorite g-spot
gorilla grip X-ray.
The more intese the manuver the more intensly primate grip.
Night snowboarding goth rock run
dark wave
take a run on the dark side
I am personifying the universal-field photosynthesis leaf-man life force,
Like a winter leaf flying in the wind; swirling & somersaulting in pristine pre-global warming vortices,
This is the statement I am making as I snowboard flying out of half pipes.
The Best Snowboarder Is the One Having the Most Fun (Thank You)
Costume: human snowboard,
I am the snowboarding spirt of sliding gliding free-flowing fun.
cardboard board, broken arm, blood, paper cut-up snowflakes, whips of cotton balls.
I want to thank you all for coming to Boardfest 2006
The black depths of being avalance of subconcious
I think every one who participated rocked.
Let's give it up for everyone who rode today
They are all winners.
Why?
Because the best snowboarder is not the one with the best moves.
No, the best snowboarder is the one having the most fun.
Because the best snowboarder is the one having the most fun.
You are all winners
You should be amazingly proud of yourselves.
The brag:
The next day when you go to school, or work, or with your friends.
I have high volume hair.
I snowboarded on an amazing man made mountain downtown
I snowboarded with one of the best snowboarders in the world, Danny Kass.
I rock.
It was more fun than can imagine.
Step back.
For the rest of your life you can remember the fun you've today! Thank you Moda 3, and thank you all.
Peace, Love, and ski-cap hair grease!
dot matrix printer
snowboarding fun
You do not need perfect conditions to have fun
I have had a really good time
but when you are going between patches of mud and snow
and if you wipe out you eat a bunch of rocks
genetically pure sex-kitten from another dimention
Kissing a creature from a more advanced gene-pool is hot!
Yes David, shredding the pow is awesome. Why? I will explain it simply for to you:
Yes, powder acts like a fluid, so it's like surfing, BUT, it goes beyond that...
Powder also acts like a gas, unlike water it is COMPRESSIBLE.
That means when you make a turn you sink way in, about 2 feet, and then pop back out. It's like flying through THICK AIR.
When you surf you board only sinks into the water about 3 inches, the water is HARD.
When you shred the pow, it's like riding down pillows & puffy clouds.
It's like SURFING THE GASEOUS SURFACE OF SATERN.
Fuckin' A Dave, let's ride like...
Jewish snowboarders unite! We are God's chosen...
to rip up his handiwork!
COPPIN' COKE HEAD COPS -- bad cops doin' good
Police Officers snorten' up in squad cars and realizing they can do a better job high. They're not interested in stopping for donuts anymore, 'cause they're not hungry. They do all the cop work cops hate to do -- directing traffic, etc. Their personal lives take an upswing: they save their on-the-rock marriage's as coked-out Barry White super-lovers. They become hero's of the community and get public service medals. Then they run out of dope, and it all goes wrong...
this is a bust!
Take most of evidence, fuck up, “whoops!” dude gets off.
Cops shorting in squad car, “you know we can really do a better job on this stuff.”
They become a role model for the police force.
Save drug dealers daugter’s cat.
No cop-job is too small or boring.
They become Barry White super-lovers to their wives.
Wife, "Come on Tom, you know you want the sweet asshole."
“Yes Mom, our marriage has never been better.”
Then things go wrong...
COPS END
I LUV U
“...and my sonar says, (‘I love you’) ”
I = picture of eye
love = heart icon
you = U (letter “u”)
I
LUV
U
STORIES END
LEFT OFF HERE
Jewish Leprecon
Laced with speed, greed, and evil seeds
Laced with beauty, greed, and mass hysteria
brush strokes Van Gogh gerbera daisy hazy
Yield to the sedation of solar radation.
sun beams of Sunday day rays today
from infared to ultraviolet
including the politcally & scientificly correct COSMIC RAYS ~ ~ ~ ZAP!
of coastline
nanometers of
sleep like an angel
inflating a kiddy-pool lock ness monster flotatation sudation device
every day you wake up is the worst day of your life
You're biggest nightmare is waking up an looking at yourself in the mirror
This is my favorite pic. Anyone can look groovy & cool, big deal, MAKE A FUNNY FACE! I like that glowing, LED effect on the tougue-stud, like a paranormal candle burning at some pseudo-religious apparition site, IT'S A MIRACLE! That girl is no doubt the patron saint of tongue studs! HAIL OUR BLESSED MOTHER CANDYGIRL!
alienation alien nation
sleaze us Jesus
consumer-less consumes less
self-actualize
INSULTS
Living Is Your Biggest Punishment
You're worst nightmare is waking up in the morning,
and looking in the mirror.
You can't even drive an automobile,
why do you think God would want to meet you?
What is being insulted by Don Rickles?
A privilege.
the pi credit card
infinite irrational number
pi credit card
your piece of the pi
Your brain in chains
product fetishism breaking the chains on your brain
Taste bud buzz
Pill-gobbleing prince of the underground,
fly to Saint Louis with a suitcase of dirty laundry
eat a bunch of pills
and wake up on someone’s coutch.
SCREAMING DAYDREAMING
Pixel-Monster eye-gobble, YUM! YUM! Eyeballs with licking tongues, FUN! FUN! SLURP!
Hot sweaty and vibe heavy
A hot sweaty experience with intense music.
canuspis cup winner
pencil lead down the center of joint
hash cakes hash shakes
All the games people play
every night and every day
PROMOTER TEXT
A multi-venue multimedia light and sound mind-hole blowout performing at colleges, art galleries, film festivals, nightclubs and undergound electronic music events.
A multi-venue multi-medium light/sound/spoken-word mind-hole blowout performing at colleges, art galleries, film festivals, nightclubs and undergound electronic music events.
Mind-float in a multimedia lava-lamp with lap-dancing love-doll globs in a triple penetration ear-hole eye-hole mind-hole roll.
lava-lamp Mind-float with lap-dancing love-doll globs in a triple penetration ear eye-hole mind roll.
mind floating with
lap-dancing lava-lamp love-doll globs
Hi Benz,
Seeing is make believing.
What I do is create little hand-draw comic book fantasies,
I scan them into my computer,
and then I make those fantasies scream.
Like Mission Control in the missionary position,
hot sweaty and vibe heavy,
embarking on two-thousand-bun inner/outer space odyssey
to stretch your ears, eyes, and mind wide open:
T-minus ten, nine, eight, seven, 6 9 and blast off, SSSHHHOOO ! ! !
I kick out pop-culture fairy tales with deceptively funny meanings using projections, hyper-linked music, many, many vocal processors...and a really tripped out costume.
Welcome to the mind plasma! light/sound wave•space of imagination:
I would like to do your next Wonka event.
Sincerely,
TJ Richter
I am a performance artist that combines cartoons on a huge projection screen, crazy vocal processing, and off-beat storytelling in a self-contained "wave-space of imagination."
light : sound : dimension
for your exhilaration creation, inner-space exploration, and self-expression sessions
Your master of allusion host and multimedia magician; combining spoken word stories, music, and projected images into screaming daydreaming wave spaces of imagination. Stretch your ears, eyes, and mind wide open!
The government says it's illegal, but we say it's casual!
There's a fine line between genius and insanity and we've got both!
Brilliant DJs, insane performance artists, and you unite in a throbbing orb of light:
a room that's one big 3-D projection screen. Chill out in a diverse universe of music with small stage intimacy. This nye, chaos has never been so casual.
TJ Richter
Inner Space : mindplasma.net *
A hyper-kinetic goblin of fun presenting a pulsating plasma of spoken word, light, and sound with mega-bass from outer space that flattens Discovery World like road kill, SQUOOSH!
TJ Richter
Milwaukee : evolutionary-revolutionary upgrade version 2.0
Bug-eyed superfly and techno-high tj is re-wired as an all new digital entity. Dropping an IMAX-quality light-and-sound mind-hole blow out!
Create. Communicate. Contemplate
electro-crucification and salvation installation : TJ Richter
TJ Richter *
cyber-space
Macro-media performance artist twisting the fabric of light and imagination with yummy cartoons, super-sonic sounds, and cyber-vocals. Enter the ->hyper-dream.
pixel popin' power lounge...
TJ Richter _multimedia live act
recharge yer buzzin' battered batteries with hi! verbal vision voltage
TJ Richter
Milwaukee
The Human Comic Book Multi-media performance artist in his own room all night long applying a little K-Y to your mind .
TJ Richter • mind plasma! wave space of imagination
Ride a Bonzi pipeline of new technology & performance art where light waves, sound waves, & brain waves combine in a tubeular experience of storytelling, video mixing, & crazy sound processing. Put on your thinking caps & swim trunks & hang ten in brain-chunk suds of foamy fun!
DJ/VJ Vulcan Mind-meld Mating Season
See DJ's and VJ's unite in a Vulcan mind-meld mating season of new faces and technology kicking out sound waves, light waves, and thigh waves making ya-all's hands wave, HURRAY!
Late Night Lullaby Good Bye! ZZZzzz....
'Jammies and teddy bears for everyone! Each evening experience a special Late Night Lullaby Good Bye! ZZZzzz...with ambient sounds and video to sooth your mind waves into calm placid waters of sleep and keep you from counting sheep, ZZZzzz...
ZAP!
STARRING: supersonic-scientist samonik.live.pa & eye gobbelin' pixel monster vj.mind.plasma!
Like a giant Siamese-twin computer robot disco dancing and sparking love-rays of light and sound, samonik.live.pa morphs with vj.mind.plasma! into a single digital entity. Come dance with Fred Astaire, Godzilla, and lovely gerbera daisy's in a special, hyper-dimensional set of music and video.
Music by: Jason Simanek • Visuals by: TJ Richter
SHOWTIME: Friday, November • 9 PM - 2 AM
PLAYING AT: THREE, 722 North Milwaukee Street • Ph: 225-0003
Embark on an optical odyssey with 10 VJ eye-spasm captains piloting a multiplex of projection screens, argon lasers, and intelligent lighting making your sensory seasick pupils puke pure photons of pixelized pleasure.
mind plasma! wave•space of imagination
by tj richter
Seeing is make-believing! Armed with a new audio-visual assault vehicle and 5 milliwatt green laser-cock, TJ RICHTER is a multi-dimensional threat spewing out light, sound, & spoken-word w/lime-green laser jizz like the tickle of pickle juice for your sublime peaktime.
Like an electrified zombie, TJ Richter is dripping w/tripping stories, comic book projections & crazy vocal processing, the light & sound-bites biting your boozing bootie & brain chow-main, CHOMP! CHOMP!
boogieing or boozing
Standard:
Spewing tripped-out stories w/comic book projections & crazy vocal processing TJ Richter wriggles in wiggles of giggles & contortions of distortion in a screaming daydreaming wave-space of imagination, ZAP!
plasma_man!
super-hero of synaptic space
Mr_Plasma!
secret agent of synaptic space
alter-ego secret identity
The logarithms of weirdness and fun!
I am human LSD.
I am an hallucination in full effect
I am imagination in full effect.
bump up the strange
>what do you usually charge to do a show?
It depends on the size of the event. For large events I charge $600 for the mind plasma multimedia freak-out. If you are doing a smaller event, we can work something out. When are you planning your next event?
DJ's are great, but what I do is weird. A DJ will bump up the bass, I bump up the strange. People will talk about the event afterwards, "remember that bug-guy with the lesbian dolphins in space?"
I bring a van-full of equipment: crazy costumes, projection/PA equipment, and a trampoline. I do performance art, and VJ between sets. I am self-contained, all I need is a place to plug in.
Good luck with your event. Rock on.
TJ
(I really like that American Gothic black-light "country bumpin'" flyer, PLUR farmers with glowsticks, yea!)
serious hyper-consciousness expression.
I psych myself up into highly-evolved, animal consciousness of the future communicating to the singular universal human life force. I just can't get there.
I am imagination in full-effect.
PROMOTER TEXT END
DROP BASS
:: Obstacle Allusion ::
Our obstacles are only optical,
the allusion is an illusion
the sound is at your finger tips.
...Turn it up to 11!
Bacon Manger needs creative supervision.
You don't put a child on the playground all by himself.
DJ's bring video footage, or have input into the room
Historical Writing Start area on website with all historical writings
Getting away with an advertised Chill Room is an accomplishment
make fun of the dj in the flyer (one dj maybe)
List of talent brought over the years
savage oral hotbed, Magic Lantern
Petri Dish of the Strange
extreme beams of light/sound waves
The reality is this room is what Drop Bass Network is all
about...taking things to the edge and then going just a little farther
to see what will happen.
Light waves of the Strange. (light & sound)
Chill room is the playroom, it's where
it's a magnesium factory on fire.
It's an exciting place to be
It's a lablatory experiment gone Frankinsite
the purpose of the chill room is the experiment lab, it's the testing ground of technology.
It's a playpen,
Primordial stew of technology, frothing, foaming, bubbling up electons and photons of funk.
Rent "vintage" lighting effects
it's American, it's Harley, it's Gibson, it's Drop Bass
16 mm move projector for loops
AV of Milwaukee
old film loops
quicktime loop simulation
LEARN & FORGET
Learning without forgetting is a deceptive fulfillment.
LEARN (student studying at desk)
FORGET (student sleeping)
TRANCE (student engrossed in play-dough work)
FORM (close-up of hands forming wise-man from play-dough, can of “Plato play-dough” in the background)
WISDOM (wise-man)
into
INSTINCT (cat with claws out, “REE-YOW!”)
Kurt,
I have discovered the cosmic truth of my life today. Forty years old, 11:59 am, Saturday, August 10th 2002, sitting on the bowl with my laptop.
(I wish I was hallucinating in the wilderness, but that's the way it goes.)
It's the formula for changing yourself. It's about saying “fuck it” to the last 5,000 years of human evolution, and the lazy philosophy that talent and ability are God given gifts the privileged are born with.
ANALYZE
.
.
.
\/
LEARN
.
.
.
\/
FORGET .
.
.
.
\/
TRANCE /// FORM
.
.
.
\/
KNOWLEDGE >>> into
.
.
INSTINCT < - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Learning without forgetting is a deceptive fulfillment.
Inoculate yourself with knowledge.
Party to learn, party to forget.
Party ON...
- t j
Kurt,
I have no idea where you are at right now.
That last e-mail just came out of me (along with a lot of other crap, ha!)
I’ve been writing this type of stuff around this time each year for so long, it’s become a kind of instinct.
If you decide to use any of those ideas, please give me credit, and print my name with it. (Also, I would change the last line from “Party...” to “Party ON...”)
You have all my faith,
- t j
I it’s about transforming
Learn (student)
Forget (uh? Face, funny)
Trance -- (trance hyptnotist swirl clock pendulum)
form (plato’s playdow)
knowledge (wisdom old man)
into
INSTINCT. (dog growling at mailman?)
GRRRR!
LEARN & FORGET END
Hope you enjoy this June full moon in bloom
full moon in bloom in June (better)
DR. BEVERLY CRUSHER
Star Trek’s Dr. Beverly Crusher, in a pink-finned mermaid suit with fragrant wisps of watermelon perfume. That would be hot.
Warning this show contains flatulation of the brain!
Mix tapes
Handshakes and lovin’ hugs
I’m not gay, stay away, pocket pussies all the way!
LADY BUG EAR FANTASY
How's your boyfriend b-t-w? You are oh-so-special to have THE funny boys attention (we love you) swarming around you like ladybugs. I certainly would be that lady-bug-of-love landing on your ear, lost in folds of earlobes...camouflaged as an oh-so-trendy 12-year-old girl-e-girl clip-on earring, my hairy insectoid tongue lapping up those sweet flakes of gushy, gooey ear wax, yum!
Your terrifically tasteless tender friend,
t j
IDEA
You know what I see from all this? It's about recapuring the human race's triumph to take over, that time we figured it out & took command over nature, from all the other animals. We figured out how to beat the natural elements: weather, growing crops, etc. and then we took over. This is mirrored over and over again in variouse sub-cultures: skateboarding, punk rock, rave parties. It all goes back to the sucess of us beating the natural system and RELIVING THAT SUCCESS. Make sense?
the 2 things I am preparing myself for is:
#1. Eventually embracing the infinite cosmic void as I experienced it on DMT, perceiving the infinity of time and space, not through my 5 senses, but through my conciousness, which is what I feel will happen when I pass on.
#2. Dog food for retirement.
Dog food and then the infinite cosmic void...in that order, I see it clearly. I am strong. I am mentally prepared. AH-WOO!
ac-extention-cord tender tenticals
reach out your purple-pink octopus, ac-extention-cord tender tenticals into the audience, like gwar
“experience station” tender tenticals in audience
create docking “light stations” for the first 20 feet of audience contains black-light, starball, and fans, fog machine
get “light up” ac cords to complete octopus arm effect
Rent starballs from Select Sound
Good video T-ONE wonderful from far to near that acres the big train of eye rain
DROP BASS T-SHIRT
hand dropping Christian fish symbol record
into a satanic, drop bass logo pentagram trash can.
bottom feeder
bioluminosity generate your own body light
bioluminescent
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
I hope this is ok with you.
oxycontin - very addivie pain killer, smash and snort it gives you 1 hr. high, addictive, dude got all his teeth pulled out for it.
zoot suit wearin' gangsta' rats of the future, smokin' herb, holding machine guns with bright green glowing canisters of kryptonite.
nerf toys
telphoney = receive voice mail through e-mail
flying squirl
psychological sodamy
brain-dead candy-fed trendy-head club people
raver-ette e-tard's sucking on liquid acid pasifer's.
hyper-hung
score some Theodore...
whim-men dreaming of women
add to summer-face
Hello good people...
behind mind
PSYCHE-DELIC-ATESSEN SUMMER-FACE
“Would you like a side order of cold slaw?”
My favorite psych-e-delicatessent attendent
offering food, not famishment…but for fantasy.
She had that three-hundred-and-sixty-five day-a-year,
all-weather all-season summer-face.
An Amaterasu sun-diving diva cosmic Shiva
With third-eye love-ray circular-saws blazing & serrating
Even the most foggy, smoggy, and soggy days…rays
radiating & sedating my satiation for sunshine, SLURP!
psych-e-delicatessent beauty-pie cutie-queen
riding purple waves of space rain
With stand-on-end anti-trend "graviton" brand hairspray, PHEEH!
creature-featuring ions of contrary-ian motion,
not only in gravitational fields of Newtonian systems,
but also in the fickle fields of fashion.
locks charmingly alarming
infinitely more beautif
YOU made the whole dance floor sparkle!
Waking pomegranate perma-grin chin
& shocking Pippy Longstocking late-for-work hair-on-end anti-trends
Creature of my favorite psych-i-delicatessent
Offering food, not famishment…but for fantasy.
Alarming yet charming
It’s about a working-class girl who stays out too late dancing on a weekday, wakes up late and must fix her hair in a hurry.
However her hairstyle is more charming than the hairstyles sported by the rich, well-rested woman the expensive beauty salon across the street.
W/ French impressionist late-for-work hair-on-end Gerbera-daisy brush strokes of Dipity-do.
elegant pommagranet rainbow children perma-grin chin
like some bubble-gum sun Shiva destroyer
my most weary and dreary,
smoggy and foggy days...
dolphin skin
Sunburn
Red-skin Indian skin
Like an eleagent Indian perma-grin
whoo-who dippity do devia you
secret-weapon gravitron brand hair spray bozooka’s, PISHHHhhh!
not only alienating, but annihilating all that trashy, trendy suburbian stripmall chic, KABOOM!
END
reverb the verbal verve
jet pack fanny fanner fan, “shoo...” man
SUPERSTAR OF LOVE PowerPoint Frames
U
R
not ≠
U
U
R
a sUperstaR
of
lUv
anyTHINK goes
peace FREEk
quick convenience-store state of hyper-consciousness.
60 sec. and you're in and out and all freaked-out, YEA!
So it must be a...I know...a powerful experience to have a large number of people plugged into you like that. I've felt it myself. But it is a unique thing to be a woman and feel it in that way. I think of body builders too, when they are all pumped up, greased up, with thousands of watts of light on them and the crowd is going wild; that must feel really cool, no matter what you think of body building. It's like the Noah's Ark skydiving water slide in a way. Mind/body/environment experience.
skydiving of the mind
Attention deficit deficit
the water is pure, the air is clean
no desesise, no world hunger,
no hate, no violence,
we live in self-suffecient geodisic domes
all races of freaks are funkin' it
no od's
type "a" person is for asshole
People are trained not to think; they're taught just to do the work,
and rewarded for not questioning
society's standards. If you graduate form college at the age of 22 or
23 with $80,000 in debt to student
loans and credit cards, well congratulations, you'll make another great consumer.
Dude, I want to get a skydiving/parachute harness and build a solid, portable base out of 2x4's and pvc pipes. I want to hang in zero "g" from bungee cords with my toes just touching the floor, bounce and FLY! as I impersonate nitrous-oxide black widow spiders, bumble bees of love, psychedelic stingrays etc. I going to build removable velcro cardboard body parts so I can morph from one creature to the next. I've got to do it. I have a little cash, I have to find the energy and time...
sonic spirit
Raves or more fun for these kids braking the law
Eric
viper room
uneducated drug-addict criminals perverts
celebrity actors
pop-culture
upper-class white kids go to raves
get the ego up brag about fucking hyper-consiousness
scratching an organ
nickel and dime your time
Hell is the stomach of a wooly mammoth.
WOOSH!
write nutty lady and her parrot.
tj richter macro-media live act
Enter the hyper-dream.
Glowing green laser beam human being tj richter
flaming fantastic phosphorescent phantasm.
With projected cartoons, cyber vocals, and
music pulsating in purple patterns of pixelized paisley,
he is the holy-glowy spirit of this event,
loving/scaring you like your favorite Saturday morning cartoon creature feature. ROARrr r s ssSMOOCH!
tweeker speakers
person who does cristal meth
cracked-out
squirrels in love drag racing up a tree
"These are just symbols of the rave culture,"
flyin' on the...
* * * * wings of sparklin' love * * * *
a screaming muse
in turblnce of that wind
Autum leaves
swirling and whirling and curling
in vortesies of leaves
around and around
downtown parks of trees
like children rolling around in the fall leaves
colors mixed with
are swirling around my ears with quiggles of giggles and squeels
and like those children, I became DIZZY.
bend over the rainbow
day-glow day spa
DAY GLOW DAY SPA
ear-e dear-e
Yes, I'm having lots and lots of fun, on big slurpy-sized big gulp of fun. I'm in a new-age high-class mud-bath of sparkling slurpy crystals, my entire body turning tongue-blue absorbing all the sugary nutrients. I am bathing in fun.
- t j
I am envisioning a pretty pink snowflake pixie dancing on ice like I am tripping on some cryogenic-frozen crystalized pill of pure pixel pleasure...
Know that in this room of total strangers,
you are among friends.
* * * * wings of sparklin' love * * * *
bird of prey
You know at these rave parties
I always have to wear these fucking fairy wings
because I'm under contract.
But if I had my way,
I would have the strong, mascliene wings of a perigrin falcon
the fastest bird in the air,
and as a performance artist, if I had the resources, right now,
I would be covered in feathers, hanging on bungie cords in the air,
as if crucified, against a cliff wall
with a huge, raging feather-covered erecetion.
Why?
Because I was hunting, diving at 150 mph,
when I became distracted by a very beautiful falcontress, yes.
and like the time I was caught up in a vortex, a tornado,
and lost my grace and eleagance in the air,
narrowly escaping the wing-clipping high-powered electric lines,
I was caught up in a twister, this time not of wind, but of love
and through a grave miscalulation of airodynamics,
and the slightest movement of one of my tail feathers
In one screaming moment of cross-eyed of flight
I was dashed up against these rocks,
my body shattered, yet still elegant,
Put in a place where I can only hang, and admire...
hollow bones
yes,
distracted for a moment
hot topic
gadzooks
NEW MESSIAH OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM
If technology is the new religion, I envision the 2nd coming of the new messiah in this new millennium as huge 200 foot high, search-engine of pure pixel energy, ripped free of it's video monitor, in the shape of a giant washing machine.
Free-standing
As it says in the Bible, whatever ye shall ask, he shall give it to you.
“God” spelled backwards is “dog.” Lycos, go get it!
It asks me in a thundering voice , "WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION?" I don't know what to ask, so I type in on the giant keyboard, "what is your question?" Then I click on search. The answer: "the questions are more important than the answer.
write live graphic energy
TRICKY-TRANSPARENT PIXEL PIXIES
BEWARE of the tricky-transparent pixel pixies. Girls who appear on the fringes of party chaos, personalities seemingly packed with charasmatic chromozones of chromatic color. But on closer examination and MAGNIFICATION... they are "square," tragicly transparent SQUARES of undefined "you" hue.
BEWARE of the tricky-transparent pixel pixies. These are the girls who appear to be partiers, personalities packed with charasmatic chromozones of chromatic color. But on closer examination and MAGNIFICATION... they are "square," tragicly transparent SQUARES of undefined color. ("you" hue.)
The tricky-trnasparent pixel pixies live in a land of chaos. They inhabit the fringes of pixelization where you are a little bit unsure. They live on the fringe of pure chaos. I saw her in a desktop icon waving at me?
WORDS (separate) (single)
Sweaty and vibe heavy
If I can get everyone to dance then I’ve done my job.
OLD E-MAIL STICKIES
i wove u Theo Juxtaposition Richteroll
undying, depth-defying love
TJ is soooo crazy i want to have his baby.
Friend or Foe-N!
op-her-tune-it-tease
two-get-her
capital-eyes and tan-tell-eyes the were-held
Yes! Swirling so far warm and a-way FREE!
My Cutie-beauty-and-scootie-pie, FLY!
t-bird
t-boner
hiya
Kick ass smoke grass
You, my favorite cyper-porn-o-pervert out-of-site web-site
72 pee-pee-EYE pleasure pixels per inch mega-modern-man.
sucking liquid acid pacifiers favorite rave party
STOMP! Those fruit-loop hypodermic needle motherfuckers
richter-riffic
I only fuck with glitter on my balls.
WANTED: For Dream Theivery
If their not pussie wipped, they always have some family relative in the closet
periwinkle-pink, fantastic-fuchsia-fire sky
WRITE TRIPS
I am suspended in fluid, in a pelican embronic sack (but they lay eggs) purple and neon green swaying love-touch in the sun swinging so gently. Stoned chair-lift ride. WRITE THIS TRIP.
Break down like flesh liquid mecury
I can see each individual photon of light
DMT 3 times this weekend
10 times more powerful than LSD or heroin
you leave your body tripping your brains out
very hard to put into words
i was smooth pixel based photo-shop gray creature,
but not me.
lasts aprox 5 min., worth it
not just another consiousness, another die-mention.
comin' out of it feels like you had major surgery/car crash heart attack
happy to be here and alive.
- t j
LOVING WOMEN'S TOUCH
I have a vision of being this young, talented blue-eyed writer
in the Flordia Key's.
I've got a room with a hardwood floor, Persion rug,
an old wooden bed with a white bed spread.
There's a desk and typewriter in the corner.
It's midnight,
I can see the ocean and a full moon,
and there's a warm ocean breeze coming through the open window.
White nylon curtins are floating in the breeze.
on my back and sholders
I'm shorts just
The young Ashly Judd looks at me in love. She touches my shoulder and the back of my neck
I'm just waiting for the cars to fucking fly.
Fireworks e-mail
I hope you enjoy the fireworks this 4th of July,
ka - B O O M !
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
sparkling
* * * *
* * *
* *
*
like a spry, firefly in the sky that sighs, "oh my!"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
WHAT YOU DO (what I do) (what u do)
For me a performance artist is not so much someone who mutilates the body, but someone who mutilates the mind.
Using wild cartoons on a huge projection screen, cyber-crazy vocal processors, and DJ equipment TJ Richter creates a screaming daydreaming wave-space of imagination. With extreme-sport trampoline leaps through his projections, TJ Richter tells stories that trip you out and love you. Enjoy wiggles of giggles & contortions of distortion from a revolutionary/evolutionary digital entity with strap-on lasers and body parts.
Projecting as much video as sound in a screaming daydreaming wave-space of imagination TJ RICHTER tells stories that trip you out and love you. Enjoy wiggles of giggles & contortions of distortion from a revolutionary/evolutionary digital entity with strap-on lasers and body parts.
Using wild cartoons on a huge projection screen, cyber-crazy vocal processors, and D.J. equipment TJ Richter performs tripped-out stories with the do-it-yourself ingenuity of the Burning Man Festival. With extreme-sport trampoline leaps through his projections, TJ Richter runs websites live until your imagination is screaming like alien insectoids in fun-filled whirlwinds of love, WHISH-WOO! Enter the hyperdream...
screaming daydreaming wave-space of imagination • video projections • music • storytelling • cardboard costumes • lasers • wiggles of giggles • contortions of distortion
Ever since the flames of a fire flickered off cave paintings on a cave wall
Finger painting with light as a form of abstract expressionism.
Finger painted the entire gallery, not with paint but with light, creating a throbbing orb of abstract expressionism.
Paint the space with light.
With the right visuals you can mix music faster than a DJ. It's like a really fast video game.
sitting
Shows
self-actualize
frantic semantic antics
mind-hole blowout
cardboard
stories that trip you out & love you
Stretch your ears, eyes, and mind wide open!
Spanking the new technology in cardboard and duck tape costumes with cheese-ball lighting effects, TJ RICHTER tells stories that trip you out and love you, backed up by high-tech music and video projections.
Drop a multimedia mind-hole blow out.
Bug-eyed superfly and techno-high tj is rewired as an all new digital entity.
His wild cartoons on a huge projection screen, cyber-crazy vocal processing, and meg-bass beats will delight, enlight, and excite you.
Drop a multimedia mind-hole blow out!
enter the hyper-dream -->
Catch a rare glimpse of this creature of the underground emerging from primordial techno-goo spewing “mind plasma!” chunks of multimedia performance art, SPLAT!
Drop a IMAX quality light and sound…
BIG DADDY BUD, Chicago -- AM Entertainment
* featuring the vocals of MADAME BUTTERFLY *
Cast iron bass bins boom with ‘Da Bud as his Chicago-style Disco/Vocal House frees U whilst capturing the butterflys screaming in your dreaming: “WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!!!”
Seeing the funny looks on peoples’ faces when they see the funny looks on my face.
mind plasma
I am the primordial storyteller who jumps through the fire.
T.J.: “You pack yourself up at home, and then you're on a mission, you're flying. You know that in six or eight hours you and a bunch of people are going to impinge at a point in time and space, and do it. It kind of feels like you're a bumblebee giving directions to the honey. You're going to meet a bunch of people that you don’t know and show them some imagination. I really like bees, and scientists consider them a group organism — a single living entity. When those baby bumblebees dream in the honeycomb, it must be a single shared dream, not separate dreams. When I perform at a really far away place, I feel like a happy bee who's dancing, giving directions to the honey, and sharing the dream. It's not about me performing as a singular, tripped-out entity. It’s about everyone daydreaming together, in this one singular daydream in a faraway place that we've arrived at through the happy bee dance.”
T.J.: “From a pragmatic point of view, this is a great place to do art because you have a financial environment that’s conducive to experiment. Milwaukee not expensive like New York, or a lot of the other cities around the country. It's financially forgiving, you have the luxury to experiment and discover new art that works. Milwaukee is big enough to have places where you can perform at and work on your art. Yet it's small enough to get around quickly, you don't waste a lot of time getting to your resources.
When it comes to the audience, in some ways I feel "support" goes against an important aspect of performance art. You should be doing shows in unexpected places where nobody knows or understands you...and if you're worried about your gear getting stolen, so much the better. I'm tired of people performing because they have twenty friends in the audience for "support." For me, it's about flying in the face of it all and I'm dying to do a show at the Southridge Mall on those well-waxed parquette floors, oh yea.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity and we've got both!
Brilliant DJs, insane performance artists, and you unite in a throbbing orb of light:
a room that's one big 3-D projection screen.
Chill out in a diverse universe of music with small stage intima
Your master of allusion host and multimedia magician; combining spoken word stories, music, and projected images into screaming daydreaming wave spaces of imagination. Stretch your ears, eyes, and mind wide open!
Use 6 projectors, to create a 3-D comic-book mind-hole blow-out that makes Discovery World look lame.
Convert an entire arena into 3-D comic book mind-hole blow-out
you are a communicator, translator.
Where performer meets audience.
Where man meets machine.
Human to animal.
experience to...
imagination to...
synesthesia: where sight translates to sound, sound processing with sound designer EQ curves
ideas to words, sounds text, pictures, multi-media
You do not write poems, you write EXPERIENCES.
Thinking in pictures FIRST instead of words
will reconstitute your sentence structure
and generate new ideas.
mind plasma! costume philosophy
Clowns and crossdressers
I like clowns, but I also hate them, Cross-dressing, like you are changing your sex. Big fucking deal. I mean what is really the big deal. To me what's more radical is changing your species, not your sex, that's minor. How would you like to be an insect, have and insect's conconsiousness, produce honey, that's rad. How would you like to have an exoskeleton?
You wear the most ridiculous costume.
You say the most ridiculous things.
You get people to laugh, and get their guards down,
You make them think you are a clown.
The ridiculousness moves in huge elliptical orbits
establishing a rythem of absurdity.
Then, like tumblers of a safe falling into place, planets aline
into a straight line of cosmic truth.
The clown is transformed into ninja poet-warrior
moving stealth-like through the black depths of being.
To deal that one fatal eye-socket finger poke to the consciousness.
You ask a question.
slowly realize the surprise
not talking about something rediuculse at all, you're talking about something extremely serious.
Then you straighten it out and hit them with a black depths of being cosmic truth.
and the ridiculous becomes profound.
I try not to look human even when dressing as one. In my show I use strap-on Velcro body parts with lasers mounted in them.
mind plasma! slogans
mind plasma!: jizz of the mind.
mind plasma! surf the brain~wave
Warning this show contains flatulation of the brain!
mind plasma!
It's fun that makes your mind explode and delivers a cosmic truth.
mind plasma! wave-space of imagination
music • storytelling • video projections
mind plasma!: write the experience then hyper-dream it: warp time space, morph creature, word play?
work fast, smart, and cheap
build the wave space of imagination
To see all oceans stir in a puddle of rainwater
all human struggles in a schoolyard scuffle
all children in one child
SHOCKING vs. SURPRISING
I am surprising not shocking.
Let me qualify this:
Shocking is a genital-pierced Minator humping the eye socket of a new-born infant inflamed in flames of a flaming act of brain rape.
I don't have this in my show. What I do have in my show is surprise: like an intergalactic lesbian dolphin in heat getting it on with a cyber arc angel transvestite in outer space, expressing a love so powerful the very fabric of space and time rips apart in fractal-shaped tears. This I have in my show and it's a nice Sunday surprise of love.
#4. TINY ICON POEM FOR FLYER
Make TINY text and images somewhere on flyer. (These images and text happen to be big.)
ear wave eye wave thigh wave OH!
Light wave's connected to the eye-bone
(Image: Light wave to eye with eye-bone in back)
Sound wave's connected to the ear-bone
(Image: Sound wave to ear)
Ear-bone's connected to the eye-bone
(Image: Ear/eye bone connection in head)
Eye-bone's connected to the thigh-bone
(Image: Guy eye with sight arrow to chick's ass)
Thigh bone's connected to the bone, OH!*
(Image: Guy/girl ass/pelvic dancing contact, shared dialogue balloon for both of them says, "OH!")
(*A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to prostate health research.)
#5. EAR WAVE EYE WAVE THIGH WAVE OH! PERIMETER TEXT OR ANYWHERE
This text could be used to run around the perimeter of the flyier in tiny print, or anywhere. (You can drop the neck bone text if it is too long, or add more bones if it is too short. Extra bones: hip bone, knee bone, shin bone, ankle bone, foot bone.)
ear wave eye wave thigh wave OH! Ear bone's connected to the eye bone. Eye bone's connected to the head bone. Head bone's connected to the neck bone. Neck bone's conneceted to the back bone. Back bone's connected to the hip bone. Hip bone's connected to the thigh bone. Thigh bone's connected to the bone, OH! (A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to prostate health research.)
#6. VJ & DJ FLYER EAR EYE BONE ICONS
Put DJ names in ear icons, put VJ names in eye icons. Connect DJ's to VJ's with bones.
THE FUTURE OF PERSONAL COMPUTERS
it’s about speeding up the learning process to the frenzy of a really good video game. To close the gap between learning and it’s application.
What is the power of a narritive. The power of a narritve is that it provides the icons nessary for you to transend experiences in your life (David and Golath, The Good Samariten). It acts a mental vaccanation. The power of a ritual is that it provides you with icons of physical experence to help you transend the experience of life. It is a physical ex vaccanaiton.
This is the power of a ritual. You experience the icon's that allow you to transend your own experience. (The next step up is actually HAVE that experence.) Drama and rituals are like a vaccanation for the real experence.
Drama is a mental vaccination.
Ritual is a physical vaccination.
What is the object? What is the icons and meanings imbedded in it? What can it teach you?
An ostrige? Ostrige sticking it's head in the sand. A bird that does not fly.
A diamond? Purity, crystalin, pressure, hardness.
The fabric of your imagination is paper mashe and cotton balls
To be able to see all people in one person, all children in one child,
all struggles in one struggle, all bodies of water in one body of water.
To see fly-by-wire aerospace control systems in the egyptian pyramids.
I feel my spirt pushing up against the fabric of the universe. At this point I can feel the superstion in the chaos.
What I've learned from doing parties was using technology to take over and control of the
Kurt,
I wanted to be an cyber, mind-spewing dolphin blow-hole of an artist, and I got it...
Right now, I am trickling No Doz and aspirin at the same time to stay awake.
I am a recording machine and once again, am doing my best work in pain.
It’s all about taking a flimsy-whimsy fantasy and making it SCREAM...
like a decapitated toy-plastic Medusa crack-head,
w/snakes coughing up crystals of over-the-counter amphetamine.
It’s about taking on million-dollar recording studios with your laptop:
taking b.s. 8-bit Real Player audio files,
smoothing them until they are gooey,
then pitch-bend-smearing them like binary jam.
I am transforming digital junkyards into pristine forests of sound.
I exist between the sounds of buses, vacuum cleaners, and my neighbor yelling on the phone.
It’s a good moment to hold on to, regardless of my maybe fucked future.
My mission statement: Be your own McDonalds and super-size yourself.
sounds like pea-ssss ss s s s s . . . ,
- t j
These were not clubs where you knew what to expect.
These were spaces not designed for light and sound. Bowling alleys, Thai resturants, hocky rinks.
what you do: use technology to take over and comand the wave-space around you, broadcast light and sound.
DESIGNER DRUG FUTURE CONSIOUSNESS
What do we want? There should be a drug that heights everyone of your senses. Each one separately. Everyone of your emotions. Drugs that create new emotions. We should be able to go inside the conciousness of animals and experience their senses and emotions. "SEE" a dolphin's echo-location sonar. Live like a hundred year old slug under the ocean floor.WRITE THE EXPERIENCE! That is WHAT you do.
The hard drive of my mind is highly fragmented.
Kurt,
I am on your future party utopia like a motherfucker. Everyone else is simply partying in the wrong DIRECTION.
The hard drive of my mind is highly fragmented. I want to meet with you on Thursday, to discuss deadlines, and the shape of what will be. I going back to work before I reconstitute.
- t j
Starfish in the seas do it while the astrogists calulate.
Venus and Mars did it, they didn't hesitate.
Why wait for astrolgers to determine our fate.
let's do it, let's fall in love.
"Shall we go to land?"
sexual amphiious amphipians
"Let's go back in the water."
wispering musical flights of moonbeam light.
"You are more wonderful than you can imagine."
PSYCHEDELIC OCEAN VIRUS
I am psychedelic-ocean-virus/bride-of-spankin'stein
god/goddess of the DEEP, controlling DNA-flow from species to species,
with one big MEGA-ASSED MIRROR-BALL BLAST!
Imagine, we are swirling in new gene pools of LIGHT
our life forces reconstituting into pretty people and creatures with new sexual features for you to toy with and enjoy!
We are a coagulation (blood clot) of imagination
OCTOPUS OF LOVE
...and I am loving you all with my big, wide, purple octopus suction-cup-of-love, AC-extention cord, tender tenticals around you.
WELCOME ALL SPECIES!
E.T. PSYCHIC FRIENDS NETWORK (print-out for picture)
Hello! You've reached the extra-terrestrial psychic friends network featuring super-models from other planets advising entities for over twenty-five centuries in matters of romance and finance like super-fine spectors of chance.
EVERY DAY UPGRADE YOUR DNA
Every day upgrade your DNA, like a blue-collar garage mechanic installing a nitrous-oxide fuel-injection system into his body cavity. Nitrous oxide, it's good for the motor, it's good for the mind.
HAPPILY BUBBLE-E BUMBLE BEES OF LOVE (Print-out for picture)
Image WE are a hive of happy bubble bee babies encased in the golden sugary honeycomb of sleep, dreaming until stars fall from milkyway...BARS like sweetarts for your sweetheart, "SMOOCH!"
NEWLY-BORN SEAMONKEY
Sometimes I get so excited, like some newly-born seamonkey just wriggling in the plasma.
I am a poet-warrior in the classic sense
disemboweling the vowels until they howl, "OUW!"
ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE
I am in a very holy state right now,
like a Tibetan monk on some snowy-covered mountaintop
flexing his mind like a DOORHINGE,
meditating on rhyming ORANGE, "HUM.."
like the porridge storage shortage,
"HUM..."
The girls are better looking these days, hey? I grew up in the late 70's punk rock kicked ass as an artistic movement, the girls were beautiful and all but their make up just wasn't wear it was at.
SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST OF THE STRANGE
I am a creature of light and imagination.
I am a Saint John the Baptist of the strange, a anti-hero dispensing multi-media, silcone chip icons to the faithful wispering, "DREAM!"
I am reconstituting myself into a new icon based species of man
photon's sound effects based
I am an new species of man
I am a creature of light and imagination.
Saint John the Baptist of the strange
an anti-hero simply encouraging you to dream.
dropping the icons
I am a Saint John the Baptist of the strange,
a Soul Surfer of light and imagination
Achilles Cock
According to classical mythology, Achilles mother, the sea nymph Thetis, tried to make Achilles invincible by dipping him in the river Styx, but forgot to wet the heel she held him by, leaving his heal as a vulnerable tragic flaw.
I think the writer of this myth totally missed the oppurtuity to express the true nature of me.
For if the writer took this into consideration, Thetis would have not lowered Achilles into the river Styx by his heal, but by his cock, leaving that as his vulnerable tragic flaw.
INTERGALATIC WHITE TRASH
In this next DJ going to make you move your ass
like intergalatic white trash
partying with trailer trash
in the lowincome zones of the milky way!
WHITE LINES LEFT BEHIND IN THE SKY
QUESTION:
Hey!
Have you ever noticed some days are just speedy
like the Greek god Apollo
riding his sun-wheeled chariot across the heavens
snortingup, "SNIFF!"
all those white lines left behind in the sky
by luxury 747 jet airliners?
"Beszszuuoookkkk!"
DAVID LEE ROTH JUMPSUITS
Imagine that, right now WE are all
donning rocking David Lee Roth jumpsuits
bright red, with a big white star on the chest,
with neon-blue leopardskin racing strips down the sides
and then regressing back to a premammal state,
jumping over a couple of species and phylums,
and then coming back up that evolutionary chin,
and jumping out of a plane at thirteen-thousand feet
like some highly evolved bird of prey!
"BIRRR!"
(Engaging in some high-flying sky-diving of the mind.)
LUMBERJACKS ON CRACK November 1995
You are gonna rock your partner
like two homosexual lumberjacks on crack
locked in the missionary position!
NEWLY GROOMED CHIA PET
You know with this new hair do
You know with all of you in e-mounds
you look as cute as a newlygroomed chia pets
or
You know with all of you in e-mounds over there
You look as happy as a bunch of hampsters in a habitrail
(You know one of those prefab housing complexes for rodents?)
kicking back in one of those in one of the highrise penthouse tubes and performing a group grooming ritual.
"Kik! Kik! Kik!"
hug each other in emounds spreading across desert ground like Jolly Green Giant vines shooting up and lighting the sky like fourth of july.
SEA-MONKEY WRIGGLING IN THE PLASMA
I want to thank you so much for listening to me because
I feel SO alive right now,
like a newlyborn seamonkey wriggling in the plasma.
WILLY WONKA November 1996
We are rollin' here
like Willy Wonka and the Choclate Factory
tripping and candyflipping
those purple everlasting gobstoppers. Yea!
BRIDE OF SPANKIN'STEIN
EARLY 80'S CLUB KID November 1996
I'm coming at you
like some early 80's Duran Duran club kid
strung out on crystal meth
who really digs the Duke, you know John Wane?
You can say I'm a dookie man!
BARBECUE FOR THE MIND
This is multimedia performance art.
I got words, I got pictures, I got sound
it's like steak sauce and brew,
it's a barbecue of the mind.
Manja, enjoy!
OLD INTO'S OLD INTO'S OLD INTO'S OLD INTO'S
ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS !
Hello! I am so happy to see you all here at _____________.
I am multimedia artist T.J. Richter and
I am proud to say I do not perform next to
fucking Miller Genuine Draft logo's. O.K.
Fuck wellbread rich kids on corporatelyowned independent
labels putting out CD's under the guise of underground rock.
You know who I'm talkin' about.
(Check this: Liz Phair, Dave Mathews Band)
Fuck 'um all.
Fuck the entire retro trend. O.K.
I AM A HUMAN COMIC BOOK (OLD)
Brothers and sisters,
in case you're wondering what you're looking at over here,
what I am is the live equivalent of a comic book.
What I'm gonna do is throw on (play)
some sounds from the underground
while I kick out some tripped out stories
and flip through these really groovy comic strips.
(It's gonna be fun!)
BUFFER
Fuck alternative rock bands with 401K plans
with nothing left to say
performing next to highresolution MTV projection screens
like it's Disneyland. O.K.
BUFFER
(I'm into the future, I'm into special effects)
(really cool music,)
DOORMAN INTRO
I'm going to a little piece of theatre for you
about when I worked in this luxury apartment
in midtown Manhatten, this is called DOORMAN.
THE PHILOSOPHIES OF MANNY REYES
THE MEDICINAL PURPOSES OF DRINKING YOUR OWN URINE
Change "new rock" to "alternative rock".
THANK YOUS
Now I want to take the opportunity to thank
all the people at the 8th Note Coffeehouse
for giving us all a place to trip in
especially Mandy, Jen and Nick you guy's are awesome.
Let's have a round of applause for all the people who work
at the 8th Note Coffeehouse, come on!
Also, I want you to know I have multimedia
poster's, comic books, and single color cells for sale.
If you'd like to buy something please see me later.
Now I'm gonna kick back to a more ambient storytelling mode here.
This is something that happened to me when I was growing up...
Rod Piercing
HELLO!
This is Rod Piercing calling on behalf of
the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force!
IMAGINATION
To me imagination is this big sparkling blue gob of KY jelly
that you can mold into any form
or rub all over your body
and makes every thing smooth and sunsual
like the afterglow of your very first preteenage orgasm.
STORIES
SAME SEX TENTICALS
HOMOSEXUAL TENTACLES
You know,
in USA NEWS TODAY they had this story
about these two oceanographers video taping
off the coast of Guatemala
who caught two different species of octopuses
engaging in homosexual intercourse on the ocean floor.
And you know I'm not gay,
but I want you to know that I think
that interspecies homosexual penetration
is fuckin' cool as hell.
Beasts engaging in bestiality, this I like,
and what it means is that out there, somewhere
there is an octopus who DOES NOT discriminate.
I mean you could be on vacation,
swimming off the coast of Mexico,
and the next thing you know you feel
these tentacles wrapping around your waist
spreading your buns apart!
And you get that octupus susction cup covered penis
worming it's way up your sphinter
like some kinda senior citzen proctoglest's withered finger.
THAT, my fried would be a fuckin' trip!
And you would think that this creature would personify
the ultimate sexual evil in this country
and it would be the US military's #1 one priority
to seek out and destroy this creature.
But I guess that fall's under the Navy's jurisdiction
and from what I hear, they're into that.
BUFFER
the little guy was breathing "vigorously"
in the last six miniutes of observation.
Same sex tentacles
Samesex tendencies,
or rather, tentacles
Samesex tendency,
or rather, tentacles
Deep Pacific Ocean
(in a submarine)
In USA TODAY they have this story about these scientists sumbling across two male octopuses of different species engaged in sex on the ocean floor at a depth of more than 12,000 feet.
The scientists were completing a dive at a deep Pacific Ocean vent about 1,000 miles due west of Guatemala when the crew spotted this "close incounter of the deep."
The agressive octopus was only 15 inches long
and the other was more than 7 feet long.
The little guy began breathing "vigorously" in the last six
minutes of the observation. R
HOMOSEXUAL TENTACLES END
RUSSIAN GYMNISTS FRENCH KISSING ON THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL
PLATFORM
You know, the last time I watched gymnastics in the Olympics
I couldn't help notice
that after some of these
cute little twelveyearold Russian gymnists
finished their floor excersise,
with their cute little buns hanging out,
they would kiss each other on the cheeks
and sometimes
because (since) there is less homophobia in their culture
they would kiss each other on the lips.
And I'm thinking to myself
many of these female athletes
have unusually high levels of testostore
and when some of these twelveyearold girls
are kissing each other
for some of them
there MUST be the slightest subcouncious inkling
of lesbian plesure there.
And considering that this being broadcast
to hundreds of millions of people across the world (planet)
to me, moments like this, are precious.
That's why, I was praying to God
the women's Russian gymnstic team would win the gold medal.
'Cause I figure
if these girls are kissing each other on the lips
during the compulsories
by the time they won the gold medal
You would see
the entire Russian women's gymnastic team up there
on that Olympic goldmetal platform
ramming their toungs down each other's throgts
to Russian national anthem.
And that my friend would be a fuckin' trip!
SEX IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE
BUFFER
The last time I watched the Olympics
I couldn't help but notice
that after those
cute little twelveandfourteenyearold Russian gymnists
finished their compulsory floor excersises
with their buns hanging out
they would kiss each other on the cheeks
and sometimes
since there is less homophobia in their culture
they would kiss each other on the lips.
And I'm thinking to myself
since many of these female athletes
have unusually high levels of testostore
sometimes there must be the slightest subcouncious inkling
of lesbian plesure there.
And to me, moments like this, are precious.
That's why, I was praying to God
the Russian's would win.
And I don't even beleive in that guy
nailed to railway ties.
'Cause I figure
if they were kissing during the compulsories
by the time they won
the entire womans team would be up there
on that Olympic goldmetal platform
ramming their toungs down each other's throgts
to Russian national anthem.
being broadcast out to millions of people across the world
RUSSIAN GYMNISTS END
ONE ARMED DRUMMER May 1996
But from up here, and to the guy's back stage
It kind'a sounds like
that onearmed drummer from Def Lepard
on qualudes, in bondage, could clap louder that you.
SICK & WRONG SEGMENT
TALK SHIT
Now I'm just gonna talk some shit here over this techno
beat...
PHONE SEX CLEANING SERVICE
So ladies, if you really want to fuck up a guy do what this woman did to me: Call some guy up at 3 am in the morning, wake him up,
put on your sexiest voice and go: "Hello, me and my girlfriend are REALLY turned on right now and we took off ALL our cloths
and strapped cleaning pads onto our bubble butts and bobbies and we're coming over your place right now to scour your your apartment." CLICK!
I swear that guy will not get another minute of sleep for the rest of the night, I guarantee you.
I'm too busy creating artwork and staring at chick's cleavage-moles to clean. Once a year, I hire a nude cleaning lady to strap cleaning pads on to her bubble-butt and boobies; and she belly dances around, scouring my apartment, HUBBA! HUBBA! SCRUB!
THREE GRANDPAS
Hello Teddy? This is your grandma speaking.
(You know I'm been really jelouse of grandpa
how he wears his flannel shirts and farts beneath the covers,)
You know, Grandpa and I have had a LONG talk and we've decided that were just friends. You see all this time I've had this THING deep inside of me, it's called THE PENIS ENVY, so I'm taking all the money I was leaveing you in my will and flying to Denmark for a SEX CHANGE OPERATION! Teddy, I've got good news: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THREE GRANDPA'S!
A 200 FOOT JESUS MOUNTING SAINT PATRICHS CATHRAL
AT IN MID-TOWN MANHATTAN AT LUNCH HOUR
You know, when I get married
I'm gonna that part about the
the relationship between man and wife
symbolizing the mystical union between Christ and his church.
cut out.
You know what I'm talkin' about?
Because when I think about
the relationship between man and wife
symbolizing the mystical union between Christ and his church,
I get a vison of a 200foot Jesus
mounting St. Patrick's Cathedral in midtown Manhatten
in lunch hour traffic.
BUFFER
I am cutting out
really fucked up
because when I see two close friends get married
And man that can really fuck a beautiful moment up.
A 200 FOOT JESUS END
MY DAD IN UNLUBRICATED SPINKTER RIPPING PENETRATION January 1997
Check and move to KING DONG.
My father could ignore anything.
I mean when I think of my father, I think of him as being
mounted by the biggest, meanest
prisoner in a federal penetentary
engaging him in the act of
unlubracated sphinkterripping penetration
and be like:
This is not that bad.
I don't get it?
What's the big deal?
My father could ignore anything
I mean he could be mounted
by the biggest meanest prisinor
in a Federal penitensery,
engaging him in the act
of unlubricated sphincter ripping penetration.
and he'd be like
"What's the big deal?
I don't know what everyone is complaining about it,
it's not that bad.
MY DAD IN UNLUBRICATED SPINKTER RIPPING PENETRATION
January 1997
My dad was pretty fuckin' incompotent
I can't imagine the guy handleling wipping his ass
I'm serious
I mean
This is a guy who would take a shit with the toylet seat up
miss
and then claim ignorance
so you'd like be in the bathroom
and you'd see a piece of shit just hanging out of the bowel
and he'd be like "I don't know what happened."
My father could ignore anything.
I mean when I think of my father, I think of him as being
mounted by the biggest, meanest
prisoner in a federal penetentary
engaging him in the act of
unlubracated sphinkterripping penetration
and be like:
This is not that bad.
I don't get it?
What's the big deal?
My father could ignore anything
I mean he could be mounted
by the biggest meanest prisinor
in a Federal penitensery,
engaging him in the act
of unlubricated sphincter ripping penetration.
and he'd be like
"What's the big deal?
I don't know what everyone is complaining about it,
it's not that bad.
ROBERT SMITH
The music district in New York City is on 48th street
and the oldest music store there is called "Manny's Music."
I used to go there to buy equipment.
It was really expensive.
It's one of those stores
where none of the equipment has any prices on it
so you don't know if you are getting ripped off or not
they try to charge you full list price.
by the front register
they got pictures on the wall
of all these classic rockers like Pete Townsend from the Who
and Jerry Garcia from the Greatful Dead
with
Signed "Thanks for helping us out with the equipment Manny
and for taking all of our money!"
the salemen are like vampires
Now I'm a poor slob and I know
you can't just walk into Mannys and go "I want to buy this"
you gotta walk in there like you are kinda interseted
and let the guy sell it too you.
So one time I'm in Manny's
and I see that little mophead from the Cure, Robert Smith
come in
and he's with his wife Mary.
hansome couple, and underscore the word hansome. What
a pretty picture,
They look the same,
they've got that same mophead haircut
they're the same size
they're both wearing makeup and lipstick
exactly the same shade lipstick.
and I'm thinging what a scary thought it is
what they're thinking getting it on about in bed
like I don't even want to go there.
but Mary is just alittle more robust than Robert
and she looks like she could take him if she had too.
and if they wressed each other she would win
So Robert goes to the salesman with that polite English
accent
shy pretty petty soft spoken
"I'd like to buy an amplifer"
and I'm looking at these salesmen and I swear
I could see the fangs come out.
They looked like they were going to devour him that little
mophead
and I'm like oh shit, it looks like Mr. Smith
is going to pay FULL LIST PRICE for THAT amplifier
and I felt like walking up to him and going
DUDE, you got it all wrong,
let me give you a tip
What you gotta do is go in there
(scratching my arm)
I'm really strung out right now
I just spent my last record company advance on herion
and I gotta get an amplifier
to do the gig at Madison Square Garden tonight
I hardly have any money, I mean
Mary has been prostituting herself at the Javits Center,
they got a country music convention there
and Mary has been giving blow jobs to the record exeutives
there
impersonating me.
just to get by
YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT!
ROBERT SMITH END
POET WARRIOR IN THE CLASSIC SENCE
I'm a poet warrior in the classic sense
I'm an elevator howling in the shaft
I'm an Egyptian scarab burrowing deep
into the base of the medulla
through all the purplegray convolutions of the brain.
I'm cute as a newlygroomed chiapet
and happy as a hamster in a habatrail
you know one of those prefab houseing projects for rodents?
in the '70's
I'm blasting my ass off
like some newlyborn seamonkey
passing wind in a surround sound fishbowel.
WE are eating Lucky Charms for breakfast
and hopping it the Mock Five Burrrrum!
I am happy to be alive!
I am a shimmer of a glimmer of a trout
flitting beneath the surface of the waves
I'm there then GONE!
I'm a conductor GLOWING in the circuit board
a chamelion changing colors
with web ducts like black widow spiders
spinning the web to ensnare your imagination.
(thread)
OVERWEIGHT PSYCHIC W/CLEAVAGE
(go to The Judgement?)
(add to Poet Warrior the Classic Sence?)
I'm an overweight psychic w/cleavage,
reading greasy palms in the back rooms
of rat infested tea parlors.
I'm a FUCKIN' GUY.
I'm KY for your mind.
I'm the invisible curves of a supermodel on another planet
Apply a little KY to your mind!
'Cause I got the breaks to make your body race
like the Geek god Mecury freebasing in Cyberspace.
MY NAME IS FUTURE, I AM FUTURE
I'm a Psycdelic Lizard
welcoming you to an evening of popculture apocolypse
and intergalatic interspecies penetration.
THE DREAMS OF ANTIQUITY June 1997
(GONG!)
Yoda, or Keith Cariden in Kung Foo
?????
young little Grasshopper
My son, you must
feed on the dreams of antiquity
like a newlyborn catapillar pupa
chowing down on the bigest, fatest piece of milkweed.
got to the judgement?
SNOWFLAKE January 1997
In winter i walk through trees
as crip and clean
as a snowflake floating
in some incandesent laserbeam.
In winter i walk through the trees
crip and clean
a snowflake floating
in some incandesent laserbeam.
floating there
as crisp and clean
as a snowflake suspended
in some incandesent laserbeam
In the winter, when the sun shines through the trees
winter in the park
i walk through trees
crisp & clean
a snowflake floating
in an incandescent laser beam
JOSIE
Forget about Cortney Love and Barbra Aniston from "Friends"
'Cause I've always been in love with Josie
playing rock 'n' roll in outer space
in that cute lepard skin tutu.
Yooza!
with the original rock and roll chicks:
'65 WORLD'S FAIR
I've always been into the future
ever since I went to the `65 worlds Fair in Queens
with that big globe of the world
big fountain
moving sidewalks
and flying space cars with purple tail fins.
I'd ask my Dad, "when is the future going to get here?"
And the sky was as gray as an X-ray
of a prehistoric seahorse
from the plasticen era.
I am sliding past planets ageless
in a smooth scotch tape, half bubble hot wheels space ship
A bad ass with class
a glass bead, a melody
a voice that flys with butterflys
A Samurai bushido who masters the word before the sword
in bread white bread
A redhot embryo nestled in volcanos at the dawn of time.
like a brused twin or a mute lesbian.
throwing out truth, humor and beauty
with the force of a plastic explosive.
through purplegrey convolutions of the brain
bubbling at the dawn of time.
sighes
Fern women smooth salamandars glade
grow mirriored in
green tides and sailors sighes
Shaman, Welsh minstrel poets, Celtic gleeman and the
Troubadours
a drug addict religious fanatic
shamans performing rites of the stone age.
Houdini exposing frauds communicateing with the dead?
A caffine fueled
in a pastoriol Japanese setting rushes past servants tending
gardens in the court yard. breaks through rice paper walls
the fat buddalike land owner and hack!
Man,
A Vist from the Home Office
They decend upon the workplace like androids
corporate machines in the guise of human beings
Well I'm right hand man to vice president Buttfuck.
Oh my God I'm impressed.
How can we increase corporate profits?
Yeh and in return what are you going to do for me?
Give me a watch, a coffee mug with a quality circle on it?
Lisen, if I had your job I could think of a million ways to
make money.
What do you got a posh office with some cute secretary making
me coffee.
I got a real job to do. I don't have time to
these are men with with familys, men who can lay off
thousands at a whim
Egyptian task masker Israili blood between the stones
Slave traders of the 1600's
eyes of a criminal
the eyes of a criminal
How do you think we can increase store profits?
What do you think of the employee investment plan what do you
think of profit sharing.
END END END END END END END END END END END END END
EDDY
It's a sunny day in upper manhatten. Eddy's loping down the
steet. funky Street sailor
He's got a coarse blue shirt, shorts, brown pneumatic
stockings and shoes.
red skin balding coarse grey hair a beard, one tooth in the
center of his gums leather skin like a fisher man
You know I don't like to say I'm into nature, because
you always have the opposite to that which is science.
That's why I say I'm into creation everything I'm into
being outside. I've spent over two thousand nights outof
doors. I'm not homeless. I've been doing this for the last
20 years, before homelessness.
In the summer I sleep in central park in the caves.
Winter never bothered me much, but I'm getting old now and I
can't spend as many nights outside as I used to. Sometimes I
have to come inside and hug a radiator!
I sleep on top of skyscrapers.
You know a job takes away your creativity, it takes away
your awareness of things.
I must have walked around this island a thousand times.
I swim in the Hudson. I put my shoes and food in
plastic bags and float out on the river. The water gives you
a rejuvenating effect. I'm not as much a swimmer as a
floater. I like to swim way out, past all the pollution, and
catch the main current, and float for a couple of miles. The
water gives you a rejuvenating effect. In the summer I come
out of the water its hot my cloths dry right on me. I
don't mind. The water, it gives you a rejuvenating effect.
Just like you sitting there now with your feet up your
relaxed.
I'm aware of that
I'm tense now but I' gonna relax now too.
MOODY
Punishment, intolerance
The defense buget is our egyptian pyramids
Jesus is Board
So this guy starts walking beside me and he starts talking
about Jesus
and I want to tell him to go to hell
and his buddy is walking behind me
like he thinks I don't know
he wants to hear how his trainie is doing.
Born again christian whitnessing
like subway jail bate looking for
an easy score of cash or gold
from old lady or a blind man
skavengers
raw mental
subway
Pressed jeans
White socks
LifeinDeath and DeathinLife
maggits in a metal beast
The Director
Character:
Sleazy French or Italian film director
skinny and short
cologne
pencil mustache
greasy black slicked back hair
open shirt with gold chain
do some cosmic blow
(THE PROPOSITION )
Come on in Baby
Have a seat
do some cosmic blow
want some?
S S S s n n n n i i i i F F F F ! ! ! !
My name is Goya
I'm a intergalactic film director
you know, a missionary
I started out rocketing around the universe
making animal documentaries for public television.
Soft core stuff.
You can't show us doin' it on T.V.,
but the animals no problem.
It's so 50 year old impotent Engineers can talk about
how prickly some space crab's shlong is
while they lay in piping on some crusty old drawing.
But I tell ya baby,
you move up fast in this business
now I do it all, soft core, hard core, you name it.
I'm like a Warren Beatty from outer space.
I've had myself some nice little civilizations.
The Aztecs, the Incas, the Egyptians
I fucked them all.
Genesis Chapter 6 verses 1 through 4.
That was my film crew,
on our very first shoot.
Ah, those fuckin' guys.
right out of the space navy
boy were those guys horny.
you'll do an ape.
Baby I can see you're cut out for this missionary work
but you got to start out at the bottom.
don't worry we'll take care of ya.
ya go down,
teach these pagans
some irrigation, textiles, a little arithmetic
some civil engineering easy stuff
and your set.
they think some kind of god or somthin'.
I now some ladies that got some very nice luxury condos uh I
mean temples built
we'll set you up as a moon or earth goddess
Education it's a wonderful thing,
I'm what they call an archetype maker
I got no writers
I only got two or three plots
improvise
create your own fantasy
that virgin sequence was a big hit
guys will die to do it with you
I shoot some footage to keep
the big guys back home satisfied
and I got it made.
I can tell you are the type of girl who has class
This type of work baby, you gotta understand
is strickly one night stands
just throw them some of that second coming shit
all religions are descended down from this slezy film
director shooting hard and soft core porno's.
and work for me baby and I'll make you a star!
GRANDMA'S TELEVISON
When I was young I would turn off my gradmothers televison set and
watch the image slowly shrink to a small blue dot in the
middle of the screen.
After I clicked the yellowish volume knob into the "off"
position
I would press my face up against the screen and feel
the cold dusty static glass against my cheek as I positioned
my eye directly over the dot and focused on it until it
completely faded.
along with the statily charged dust little sparks of
electricty screen static charge
Thinking about how
It is the same with people,
I just turn the invisable knob and they get until in my mind
they are nothing.
WORKING IDEAS BUFFER
THE BIRDS
When I returned from New York I was driving on one of the
elevated highways here in Milwaukee & I was going to work &
it was early in the morning & the sky was clear & I had an
excellent view of the city & I was thinking that the sky was
just empty & I could imagine a single flock of pigeons just
flying up & around against that skyline. The air here is
cleaner & cooler you got that big lake of fresh water
I bet pigeons would fly better in air like this. There are
no pigeon coups here.
6/20/92
vomit doll exploding eyeballs bizarre impression
Hey! Why quit when you can be fired? The next time you
are ready to quit your job don't. Try this: Just quit in
your mind don't tell your employer. Take a week off
Don't call in Don't show up. When you go back, look your
boss in the face and say: "I'm really sorry, but I got this
friend, and he owes a lot of money to this loan shark. And
he comes to me for help, so I say "sure I'll talk to the
tough guy for ya." So I'm trying to explain my buddy's
situation to this mafioso dude and he says to me: "If you
care so much about your friends depts, I'll tell you what, if
he doesn't pay I'm gonna break ùÑïÑõÑòÑ fucking fingers. So
consequently I had to go into hiding for a couple of days..."
Just look at your boss's face and smile, 'cause this is outta
your hands this is èÑéÑóÑ problem. Keep the Faith, T.
...these are the last drops of mind plasma! I can squeeze out of my gooey brain before I pass away, DRIP!
© 2009 Theodore J. Richter |
