Ya'll like coffee right? I mean, I seen you in the coffee shops. You know what the best coffee is? Civet coffee, yea! Civet coffee is made from coffee beans that have been eaten by the common palm civet and shitted out. This is true, in the Philippines, natives will follow these poor animals around collecting coffee beans out of their feces. PHEW! These cofflight roast preserves the subtle flavor created in the shitting process. It Southeast Asia it is considered a true delicacy : )
So with this Civet shit coffee in mind, let's talk about street drugs: namely MDMA ecstasy. Don't you hate it when you spend your hard-earned money on e and there is a chip in the pill? Let me ask you, have you ever wondered, "Where the fuck does that chip go?" 'Cause I've wondered, and I'll tell you where it goes: the ants get them, that's right, especially on the floors of those underground parties.
So I am rolling my ass off at an underground party, lusting after bottle-cap nipples on insect-like Oriental candy girls, thinkin': ants produce the strongest sexual pheromones on the planet (that's a fact). I mean look at this little bugger mounting the huge ass on this queen ant. So like the Civet shit coffee, yuck! I figure MDMA that's been molecularly-altered by an ant's digestive system, has got to be the best sexual pheromone roll on the planet, YEA! So there I am, high as fuck, on my hands and knees, like some candy raving aardvark ant eater, franticly searching for ants and eating them. Thinking these ants I am consuming are going to give me the necessary sexual pheromone boost to get the bottle cap nipples on ant-like Oriental candy girls hard.
I am tripping my ass off on this ant trip thinkin' we think we're so cool 'cause we've had "underground" parties since the 90s. But before that, there were the naked hippy love in's of the 60s, the Harlem rent parties of the 20s, all the way back to the cult of Dionysus in Ancient Greece at the birth of civilization. But the ants, they've had civilization for the last 500 million years, down in the anthill growning funguses like magic mushrooms, and partying like ancient egyptian bong smoking insects, YES!
This is called, The Orange Dawn Of Some New Insectoid Civilization Dropping Bass...
by TJ Richter
© October 15, 2001 Theodore J. Richter