Now before this whole door-opening bullshit got started, Jose already hated 29G. This is because 29G never tipped at all, not at any time throughout the year, and not at Christmas time, which is viewed by union employees that work in these luxury apartment buildings as a venerable crime against humanity.

This is because some of the people that live in these buildings are worth over two-hundred-million dollars, and to give you an idea of the mind set that goes along with this affluence, some of these people, if they dropped a dollar bill on the floor they wouldn’t even bother to pick it up, it’s like you or me dropping a penny. I meant, I would literally look down the hallway and see dollar bills just crinkled up on the carpeting, and I’d be, “Yep, someone dropped a dollar bill over there.” One time this European doctor guy dropped a dollar bill right in front of me in the lobby and and he just looked at it like it was some kind of bug, like he was trying to figure out if it was worth squashing or not, and decided it just wasn’t worth the effort and walked away. What an easy buck.

Now there are two types of tips you get in luxury apartment buildings. You’ve got your regular tip, which you get on a weekly basis through out the year, and your Christmas tip, which you get once a year at Christmas time.

Now with the regular tip, you usually get that on a Friday or Saturday night for opening a door for a tenant, but it kind of counts for all the times you opened the door for them throughout the week. It’s usually either a five or a one dollar bill. Now to show you how that's done I want you to imagine that right now we are all in the lobby of some posh, mult-million dollar luxury apartment building, I am your doorman, and to get us in the mood for this, I’m going to throw on a little luxury apartment building muzak. This is a little piece of theatre about my favorite tenant, Mr. Jaffe and it’s called: CLASS.

Hey, check it out: “Good morning Mr. Jaffy. Thank you Mr. Jaffy! That’s very kind of you. Good day.” That’s Mr. Jaffy. Mr. Jaffy is a gentleman, he’s got class. Let me show you how a gentlemen gives a tip. See, he takes a dollar bill and folds it into quarters like this, then jams it into the palm of his hand. So... when you shake his hand, he lets the dollar go into your hand, and no one knows money has been passed. And ladies and gentlemen in my business we call that class.